POSSESSIVE [H.S]

Chapter 31

h a r r y

in this barren land, my eyes become an oasis. i endure it's pain, yearning to say a proper goodbye.

55 degrees. 3:25 pm.

in the other room, she lays alone, taking up only half the bed expecting me to be there. three hours thirty-two minutes and twenty-five seconds ago, my fists we're making contact with the grey colored walls. time became foreign during the duration of my session. anger had consumed my body, and communication had failed at its finest. 

"I should have never opened up to you," he thought.

from the other room, low cries leave her baby plush lips. eyes a washed out brown, quivering bitten lips, and smeared make up on the expanse on his angels face. there's not much warmth in his eyes as he listens to the pain he's caused her. he runs his hands down his clammy face, past his swollen salty lips, before sliding down against the wall shielding you from him. a flash of guilt pours across his features as he hears his name leave her lips. harry musters a croak apology only to be met with silence. tears prickle his eyes, throat becoming tight as a lump forms as his inhibition forbids him to cry over the women he cares so much for.

before he can muster his courage to console his angel, his web of tears and self hatred aligns him sprawled on the oak floor in deep slumber.

3 r d p o v

indigent to aboard the earliest flight to New York, Alice metaphorically rolls a year of reminded memories in her luggage. the only shirt on her back of his, is the only thing she'll consider keeping once she completes one last self preservation. settling in the aircraft chair, she blankly stares at the cursor on the send button. and as uneasy as she felt, a new sense of effervescence erupted within her as the guilt suddenly disappeared.

h a r r y

unlike many mornings, I woke up to the light patter of drizzling rain. aching bones, causing trouble for my slender body to push myself off the floor. I brought myself up, adjusting my feet to the cold tiles as I make my way down the stairway. the aroma of brewed coffee beans and homemade pancakes erupting my senses. bringing the back of my palm to rub the grogginess from my face, I part my lips before saying, "has Alice come down yet?" though, I was met with silence, and sorrow faces. mum looked the most distraught, and the only one capable of telling me what was wrong.

"hun, read your email."

something profound erupted within me when the subject message read, "I'm sorry."

Dear Harry,

before you fly out hundreds of miles to fight me on this, please read this:
we left on such a bad note, and I know that what we have is lethal. I'm not quite sure why I'm apologizing for getting hurt, but I don't want to feel this way anymore. I remember reading once, 'if flowers can grow through blankets of melting snow, there is hope for me,' maybe not now, maybe not ever but I'm looking for a meaning at such a wrong place in this relationship. im on my flight to New York but I've realized that I'm willing to start somewhere new again. I never thought that what we had would be temporary, but with all the sudden fights and one sided feelings- I figured it would be best to end it here. six months ago today, I remember at one of our midnight talks I told you how with you everything seemed like a beautiful disaster. but it was our disaster. twenty hours ago you said I was being selfish for making you care, and I agree that I'm at fault. but we both knew the struggles. regardless of what happened to us, I meant when I said that I wanted you to be my first heartbreak. and this is it. a month ago you said if you didn't know if this was love, but would love leave us in a pile of suffrage and fear? I wish I had said a proper goodbye when I had the chance. I could do without the possessiveness and our unidentified relationship, but I'll miss your face, your smell, your smile, the laughs, the memories.. the apologies.. the sex. but the underlying bitterness of throwing away a year of change, is almost as strange as saying I didn't like it all. there will be flashbacks, distinctive smells redolent of each other, and curiosity of what the future holds.  what I want you to get out of this, is a paved road to forgive and forget. I wish this could've lasted but here I am, writing about how lost and lonely I've become. my life with you has orbited a whole new existence, without intention of ever letting us go. what would've happened if the circumstances were different? altogether we were something beautiful yet tragic all at the same time. and before I regret this, im letting us go, deleting our conversations, our photos- I should thank you for the unconditional attraction but all I ever wanted was to be loved.