POSSESSIVE [H.S]

Chapter 36

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A L I C E' S POV

"Just friends, alice?" spike asked, stressing the word friends. The blue gleam in his eyes glanced over to my direction, lips in a tight line expressing a frustrated demeanor. Leaning against the wall, he crossed his arms over his chest, biceps solid and strained beneath the black tee. Now that spike has been admitted out of the hospital, he didn't hesitate to head into the gym and release some penetrated steam he's had from his near death experience.

Apprehensive, I fall silent. I soaked up the image before me. Brows furrowed, black hair perfectly gelled, tan skin, rosy lips, and tight jaw. The sight itself made me shudder, he was unhappy with me. I was well aware of it.

Spike returned to his serious and mysterious manner. Shaking his head at my silence, he threw on a pair of shades and began to chew on the inside of his bottom lip.

It was a delicate subject.

The knot in my throat coming out strained as I voiced, "i know I know, how can we simply be friends, trust me I get why you're frustrated with me-"

In a hushed tone I continue, "but I need for us to be friends, maybe I do love him, but maybe I don't, either way it shouldn't be a question. He deserves someone who is sure about him."

"Then what are you sure of Alice?" Spike commented.

I parted my lips to speak but nothing came out. Defeated, I let my face fall into my hands. A gruff sigh leaves my lips. Why am I unable to answer such a simple question, beats me, but what seems to be apparent is the very little thing I know: some things can never be  changed.

I'm asking too much from Harry and myself...and it may as well lead to the both of us getting hurt in the end. No one is more frustrated with me than myself. Spike must have felt pity for me as he knelt in front of me. Prying my hands away my face, he proceeds by using a hand to grip my chin and level my eyes with his. "Hey..," he whispers with a frown. Soft eyes observe me as I whisper back, "hey."

Tsking, he pulls me into his arms. Gripping the black tee into my hands, I allow the tears to spill down my cheeks. his chest slowly rises and falls beneath me, hand clasped around my back as he rubbed soothing circles as a way to console me. Voice tender and encouraging he asks, "What are you feeling?"

Unraveling myself from his arms, I answer "Anger. Lonely. Confused with myself really." Pushing off the floor, I wipe the tears from my face roughly. spike follows and watches as I redirect my feelings into stretching. "Want to cut the sh.t and talk about it." The brutal truth. Couldn't expect nothing less from spike.

I merely glance at him.

He stood there with narrowed eyes as if accusing me of being passive-aggressive. Spike can be so ruthless and it fumes me. He's the friend I didn't ask for, but needed, and for that I sit and listen.

An eyebrow raised, he inhales deeply, "You're afraid of what you can't control. You don't want it to be him."

He must have seen the hurt flash across my eyes. "Alice I'm not-" the cough that escapes my lips interrupt him. To compose myself, I take a deep breath and mumble, "what is that suppose to mean?" The tone of anger was back in my voice, and I could sense that I was going to become the unreasonable one.