POSSESSIVE [H.S]

Chapter 34

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" and then there was a ring."
— réouvrir ・゜༄

Since our mutual breakup, I was far from being in a stable state of mind. restoring to my previous self wasn't an easy task to handle, for me, that is. our parting wasn't easy, the warmth from my apartment vanished, poofed really. a strange thing I developed was the tip-toeing; somehow I couldn't relax in my home; as if I wanted everything to be still since the day he left.

losing someone is so frightening, the uncertainly of what lays or what was of a relationship. the feeling you will never find again at the pit of your stomach. all you can think of is filling that space that had so much depth and meaning. if you were to ask someone what it's like to be at a crossroad, they wouldn't know how to respond. If I'd been given the question, i'd tell you that I'm empty and more hurt than I've ever felt before. the blankets were pulled up higher then they usually are, and even then my skin remained cold. throughout the night, I would scramble to reach for the empty space beside me, only to soothe my fingertips into the fabric I'd imagined would have been occupied by him.

regardless of my sleep deprivation, I found myself cocooned in my blankets the following nights. first it was two days, then it was four. From experience, I figured we would've been talking by now, but we weren't. I found myself making "accidental" phone calls, only to hear the echo of my voice responding back to me. Tonight however, was not about pleading for the past. As my phone rang, I rise from the pillows and hazily answer. "yes?" Head drooping, I rub the puffiness from my eyes, "Alice! ... spike, he um- he's awake, he's responding." frantic as she tells me this, I try to get on my feet. the news left me wet gazed as I retrieve my shoes from under the bed. "I'm on my way."

the clock read five am. Stepping outside, the chirping of birds enveloped me. Somewhat anxious, I just run. My calves burning a fiery pain, breaths heaving tremendously against my skin. pushing through the corridors of the building, I rush to the fifth floor, only to be stopped by the clerk sitting behind the plastered desk. "ma'am you need a visitors pass." shit.

from where I stood, i acknowledged that his room was merely ten feet away, but I respected the regulations and signed in anyways. my sneakers squeaked against the checkered tile floor as I rapidly walked to his room. nothing. the lights were off, and the machines were no longer connected. Immediately my eyes began to fill with tears, I desperately ask the woman to address me to his room to which she did.

Two flights of stairs and I was there. this loud commotion roared the entire seventh floor which sprouted outside of Spikes door. Had I realized that his family was here, I wouldn't have come. Sammy waved me over, "Look I think his fiancé should see him, it's only fair." Spikes father suggests, as he turns the attention on me. "Pardon?"

Spike's mother was not satisfied, so I insisted that a parent should go on my behalf. In the fathers favor, his cousins and Sam egged me to enter his room. suddenly tongue tied, I knock on the oak door as I build up the courage to see him. Peeking my head in, I find him asleep. Closing the door behind me, I couldn't help but close the blinds shut.

Taking a seat next to him, I whisper, "can we reschedule the burger and shake."

Closing my eyes briefly, my mind goes back to before the accident. My hand receives shocks and I immediately flutter my eyes open to see spike looking back at me. A weep escapes my lips and I couldn't help but press the back of my palm against my lips as he holds my hand closely to his chest. Rubbing his thumb over my skin, he runs his fingertips across my knuckles as he whispers, "can we get out of here."