Different Worlds

Realization

It's been a couple months since Seth and I split. I wasn't pushing to file cause well, I was afraid to push Seth over. He was still so hurt and every time I saw him, I felt bad. I really did. But I needed to be happy too. Hell, I wanted Seth to be happy. Brad was fun but he was becoming insufferable. He was pushing me to divorce Seth which just made me angry. He didn't seem to realize what this was. Even when I would finally divorce him, doesn't mean I would be with him. Not on that level at least. But I continued to see him. The sex was good and he did give me what I wanted. I was now at his place as Seth had the kids that night. Brad moved inside me as I gripped at him and then I moaned out as he grunted. He moved against me as he breathed hard. I was trying to catch my breath as well. He finally moved away from me and laid next to me. He moved over to me and put his arms around me. "God, you are amazing."

I then gently pulled away and sat up in the bed. "I gotta go."

He moved to me and put his arms around me. He kissed my shoulder. "Don't go, baby. We have the whole night."

I sighed and I laid back down next to him. He pulled me to him and held me. I wasn't going to lie, I did enjoy cuddling. Then he asked, "So, it's been a couple months now, do you think I will ever meet your kids?"

I was annoyed. "We have discussed this, Brad. You know it's not the right time."

"Will I ever meet them?" He asked me.

I sighed but didn't say anything. I knew he wouldn't like the answer. Then he asked, "Mary?"

"Brad, I told you. They still reeling from Seth and my split. It's too soon." I told him.

Then he moved away from me as he became upset. "You don't want me to meet them. Why?"

I laid back on the bed and I was getting pissed. He was pushing again. "Jesus, Brad. Just leave it alone."

"Do you even want to be together?" He asked.

I shook my head as I laughed, slightly. He didn't like it, I could tell. "Mary, what are we?" He asked me, worried.

There it was. I was waiting for the day he asked me. "We are just this." I only said.

"And what is this?" He asked.

I sat up and looked at him. "What do you think? I mean, after how this started, you really think we can be together. I'm sorry, but no. You are young and not ready for what comes with my life. You have a life to live still. I am not the woman for you. I knew what this was and I thought you did too. But I was wrong. You want to know what this is, well, it's just this. Nothing more. I am not ready to be with someone like that. Not after everything that has happened." He looked wounded. I gently cupped his cheek. "You are a sweet guy, Brad. But...it's just...you're not..." I sighed as I moved my hand away and looked away. I breathed, "I don't know what I am trying to say."

"I'm not him." He said, softly.

I sighed as he was right. "I'm sorry. I really am. But yes."

"You still love him." He pointed out.

"Well, yes. But I know our marriage is over and I have accepted that. I'm just not ready to move on, at least not on that level. That is why I do not want you to meet my kids. It wouldn't be right to you or them. Not when I know nothing will come of this." I told him. Then I leaned in and gave him a small kiss. "I really should go. It's best."

He didn't stop me this time and I got dressed. Once I was dressed, I looked at him. "You okay?"

He gave me a small smile and nodded. "Yeah, I am good." I smiled at him and started to walk out. Then he asked, "Will I see you again?"