Come Back, Be Here (Camren)

Chapter 47

The month of May came quickly and that meant it was time for Lauren and Camila to say goodbye to Miami for the summer and move to LA for Camila to live out her dream of being a musician. The first two months in LA were magical. The girls attended many glamorous parties that were thrown to celebrate Camila's new album being finished, toured the city that would be their home for the summer, and decorated their new apartment together. Camila also went on a few talk shows during the month of May to discuss the upcoming release of her new album. Lauren was there when Camila got noticed on the street by a fan for the first time and was there when she signed her first autograph. Come June, when the album was finally released, things started to get hectic. Camila's schedule started to fill up and Lauren saw less and less of the girl.

The general public absolutely loved Camila's album when it first dropped in June, just as Lauren suspected they would. It's been out for a month now and people are still buzzing about it. The album hit number one on the U.S. and UK iTunes charts and Camila has been on the cover of at least 5 magazines since the release of the album. Lauren is so incredibly proud of her wife, but in a way, she feels as if the music is driving a wedge between the two of them.

It's currently the first of July and the younger Latina has been working nonstop on promoting her new album and Lauren has been working part-time at an art gallery in the city so she can make some extra money and occupy her time. Truth is, the older Latina misses Miami, her dog, her friends, and even though she's in the same city as Camila, she misses her wife. Camila spends almost all of her time at the label and the other part of her time at radio stations around the Los Angeles area. The two girls barely get to spend any time together and when they do, Camila just wants to sleep because she's so tired from her busy schedule.

Currently, Lauren is sitting at the wooden table in their small apartment awaiting Camila's arrival. The musician told her she would be home earlier tonight because she only had to do promo for her album at one radio station today and not several, like she has been doing other days. When Lauren heard this, she immediately went to the store and spent most of the afternoon preparing a nice meal for her wife. She's been noticing that Camila's been getting smaller and smaller because she never has time to eat and she's not been sleeping much. At the store Lauren bought a nice, expensive bottle of wine, some candles, a lighter, and the ingredients to make spaghetti. Her smile doesn't fade all day long because she knows that she will get to spend some quality time with her wife tonight.

As she's sitting awaiting Camila's arrival, Lauren's phone dings and when she picks it up, her smile gets even bigger when she sees her wife's name pop up. That smile, however, soon turns to a frown when she reads the text message.

[6:31 pm] Camz ❤️ : Turns out, they did double book me today for radio station promo so I'm headed to yet another radio station right now. I'm so so sorry, baby, but I will be home around 9 pm at the latest. I love you💕

The green-eyed girl's mood goes from amazing to terrible in a split second. Lauren gets up from the table and pours the glass of wine she had out for Camila back into the bottle and puts the food she had set out for her in containers so she can eat it tomorrow. Once she clears Camila's side of the table, she blows out the three candles she had lit and grabs her glass of wine and plate and heads to the couch. She starts an episode of The 100 on Netflix and scarfs down the tasty spaghetti. Once her plate is clean and her wine glass is empty, she sets them both on the table next to the couch. She looks at the clock, which reads 9:30 pm and sighs. Camila is still not home, but Lauren suspected that she would be late again tonight. Truth be told, Lauren cannot remember the last time that Camila actually came home at the time that she said she would be home at. The green-eyed girl tries her hardest to stay up and wait on her wife to get home, but her eyes get heavy after an hour of waiting and she ends up falling asleep a little after 10 pm.

When Camila finally gets home, it is 11 pm. She walks in the door and immediately frowns when she sees her wife sleeping on the couch, once again. A wave of guilt washes over the musician when she realizes that Lauren was waiting up on her again. The guilt gets worse when she sees the candles in the middle of their kitchen table and a bottle of red wine sitting beside them. She goes to the fridge and when she opens it, she sees that there is left over spaghetti in a container. Tears fill her eyes immediately when she realizes that Lauren cooked her dinner tonight and she couldn't even be here to eat it.

The younger Latina walks over to where her wife is sound asleep on the couch and a sad smile makes it way to her lips. Before waking Lauren, she grabs the plate and wine glass from the table by the couch and places them both in the sink. After that, she walks back to the couch and sits down on it beside her wife's sleeping body. She reaches out her hand and brushes a stray piece of hair away from Lauren's pale face. She watches as her wife stirs and then slowly blinks open her eyes.

"Camz?" She croaks out, her voice raspy from sleeping.

"Hey beautiful." Camila smiles sadly at the girl and Lauren just yawns.

"What time is it?" The half asleep brunette crinkles her eyebrows as she reaches for her phone.

"It's late. I'm so sorry again, Lo." Camila leans in to kiss her wife on the lips, but Lauren turns her head and Camila's lips land on her cheek instead. The musician's heart sinks in her chest and she pulls back quickly, as if Lauren's cheek burned her lips.

"It seems like all you do is apologize Camila." Lauren runs her fingers through her hair as she sits up from her previous laying position. "You are the artist, the one making them money so why don't you just voice your concerns? Tell them you need more time off."

Camila looks down at her lap guiltily. She picks at her thumb nail, not wanting to look up and see the disappointment in her favorite pair of green eyes.

"Unless you don't want more time off?" Lauren speaks up again after noticing Camila's silence.

"It's not like I want to be away from you, Lauren, you have to know that's not the case. It's just..." She pauses to gather her thoughts. "My music career is finally taking off and I feel like I need to be putting all of this work into promoting my album." Camila reaches her hand out and places it on top of her wife's. Luckily, Lauren doesn't pull away from her. "Please don't make me choose between you and my music career."

Lauren sighs as she wraps her hand around Camila's. She slowly brings the tan hand up to her lips and places a kiss to the back of it. "I wouldn't, Camila. I know how much it all means to you. It's just at this point, I feel like if I did ask you to choose, you wouldn't choose me." Camila's heart shatters at Lauren's words and she watches as Lauren gently places her hand back in her lap and stands up from the couch.

"Lo." Camila tries to reason with her wife, but Lauren is already halfway to their bedroom. "I'm sorry." She mumbles once the door has been slammed shut. She knows she's said those two words too many times in the past month. She's knows she's said them so many times that they are starting to lose their meaning.

Camila spends the next 30 minutes contemplating going in the room or just staying where she is. She finally decides that maybe Lauren needs some space and so she just curls up in a ball on the couch and wraps a blanket around her.

Sleep doesn't come easy for Camila. Her thoughts are too loud. Her heart is screaming at her to go into the bedroom and hold Lauren close, but her head is screaming to give her wife some space. Lauren, on the other hand, forces sleep upon herself because she knows she will dream about Camila, like she always does.

And she values those dreams so much because in her dreams, the two of them are happy. In her dreams, Camila is always there by her side.

Truth is, Lauren has been dreading waking up from sleep the past month because she knows that when she wakes up, Camila will not be there.