Come Back, Be Here (Camren)

Chapter 51

"Lauren, I can explain." Camila scrambles up from the sofa and walks toward her wife.

"Save it." Lauren says harshly. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and storms out of the room. She can hear Camila calling her name, but she doesn't ever look back. She just walks outside, gets in her car, and drives back to their apartment.

Camila doesn't hesitate to follow after her wife. After grabbing her purse from the couch, she runs outside and hails a cab. Thirty minutes later, the now sober Latina is standing in front of her apartment that she shares with Lauren. She cannot seem to make her legs move forward, cannot seem to make her trembling hands reach for the doorknob.

She's scared. Terrified actually. She wants to face Lauren and beg for her forgiveness, but she doesn't want to come face to face with Lauren only to have the girl tell her that it's over.

Camila cannot imagine her life without Lauren. Actually, she knows she won't be able to survive without the brunette. Her entire world revolves around her. The green-eyed girl is her whole life.

The musician isn't sure how long she stands there before she finally wills herself to open the door and enter the apartment. As soon as she steps through the threshold, she sees Lauren walking out of their bedroom, her leopard print suitcase rolling behind her.

"Lauren, no please let me explain. Lets talk about this." Camila steps forward, her whole body shaking with fear.

"There's nothing left to talk about Camila." Lauren continues to roll her suitcase to the door that Camila is still standing in front of.

"Please Lauren, you can't leave. Not like this-"

"How long has it been going on?" Lauren interrupts the younger Latina.

"How long has what been-"

"The fucking drugs Camila!" Lauren loses her temper. "How long have you been doing cocaine?"

Camila's heart starts racing in her chest as she tries to think back to the exact time that she first tried the drug. Then she remembers, it was just after her album release party. Eric insisted that a lot of musicians do it so she should too.

The younger brunette looks at her feet, not wanting to give Lauren the answer she so desperately seeks. "It was um after my album release party. You had gone home because I told you Eric wanted to have a meeting with me." She finally looks up and meets Lauren's blood shot eyes. "Baby, I swear I had no idea drugs were going to be involved. I didn't even want to do it, but Eric kept throwing the contract in my face and-"

"Fuck the contract Camila! He can make you do a lot of things, but not drugs." Lauren runs a shaky hand through her wavy locks. "You should've come to me. I could've helped you get legal help to get you out of the contract with Epic."

"I know I should've come to you. I'm so sorry, Lo, just go unpack and let me fix this." Camila pleads as she reaches for the handle of the suitcase that her wife is currently gripping tightly. Instead of releasing her grip on it, Lauren just moves the suitcase out of Camila's reach.

"I need some time, Camila." Lauren finally says the words that rip Camila's already torn heart completely apart.

"N-no Lauren you can't leave. Y-you can't leave me." Camila steps back in an attempt to block the door with her body.

"You could've killed yourself doing drugs, Camila, and not once did you think about how that would affect me." Lauren allows a tear to escape and fall to her cheek. "That's the problem. Every night that you were gone or came home late, you were the only thing on my mind. But while you were gone, off doing drugs and putting your life at risk, I wasn't on your mind at all."

"Please don't do this." Camila pleads. "Please, Lauren, I need you."

"And I need time." Lauren responds, her tough facade starting to crumble as she watches tear after tear leak from Camila's beautiful eyes. Lauren reaches her hand out and places it on Camila's tear stained cheek. "I'll always belong to you. No matter what happens, no matter what the future holds." Lauren uses her thumb to wipe away some of Camila's tears as she repeats the words to her wife that she said to her this morning while she was sleeping. "I'll always belong to you." Her hand falls back to her side and she reaches behind Camila to open the door.

When Camila feels the door behind her start to open, she finally surrenders and moves to the side so Lauren can open it all the way. The younger brunette is out of words. She's played all of her cards. Lauren's mind is made up though and Camila knows better than anyone that when the green-eyed girl makes up her mind, there's nothing anyone can say to make her change it.

Lauren takes a step forward, now shoulder to shoulder with Camila, who still seems to be in a trance. Both of them are facing opposite directions, Camila facing the inside of their apartment and Lauren facing the outside world. The world that changed her wife, that turned her into someone that Lauren doesn't even recognize.

"But I'm your wife." Camila whispers so lowly that Lauren almost doesn't hear her.

"My wife would never do drugs. The doe eyed brunette that I fell in love with, the one that used to read To Kill a Mockingbird and tip the Uber driver extra money if they played Ed Sheeran songs, would never in a million years do drugs just because some man told her it was part of her contract." Lauren turns her head to the side to look at Camila and sees that her eyes are still trained in the direction of their bedroom.

Camila knows Lauren is about to walk out the door and she can't bring herself to turn around to watch it.

Lauren, not wanting to delay her departure any longer, leans in and presses her lips to the side of Camila's head. They linger there for a beat before she finally pulls away. When she does, a sob escapes Camila's lips at the loss of contact.

"I don't ever want to fall in love with somebody else, Camila." Lauren assures the trembling brunette beside her. "I just want my wife back."

"But I'm right here." Camila responds weakly.

Lauren shakes her head. "You're not her."

And with that, the older Latina exits the apartment that now belongs solely to Camila. As soon as the door slams shut, Camila slowly walks to the middle of the apartment, making sure to step over her heart that's lying on the floor.

It can't endure any more damage. Even the smallest kick would probably cause it to stop beating altogether.

Camila doesn't bother picking it up either. She knows that she can get it in a few hours when she picks her entire body up off of the floor.