Loving You Painfully - Michaeng (Completed)

Chapter 38 - This Is Me Swallowing My Pride

*Music suggestion: Back to December - Taylor Swift

I guess, the sun always brings us together.

We both freeze as we see each other. I have just wiped my tears a minute ago, but then tears fall down on my cheeks. Mina Unnie already cried as I can see from her eyes. She looking at me sobbingly. We're seeing each other's eyes while still crying. I then walk towards her, slowly. Mina Unnie doesn't move a bit. I now in front of her. Mina clenching her fist tight, she hit me with her fist. She hit me again, I don't even try to stop her. I deserve every hit. Until she stops, then I hug her. Hug her really tight. She resists at first, but then I force her to receive it. She just surrenders and I hugs her back as she cries loudly in my embrace. My tears also can't be stopped. 

"I am sorry, Unnie" I say it in tears. Mina Unnie sobs really hard. I keep patting her back. Mina Unnie then stops her self, as she still sobs.

When I gave up and surrender my chance, there she is, standing in front of me. I didn't know what's gotten into me when I drove my car to the edge. I felt that I should really watch the sun setting down today, to close my so-called journey. And she's here. Out of any places in Wakkanai, she's here.

The sun is set. Soon a night comes. Mina Unnie releases herself from me. I take a deep breathe as I take her hands in my hands. I look at Mina Unnie's eyes.

"I can't afford on losing you. I love you, Unnie"

Mina Unnie then pushes her hands from me.

"You only said those words because you know that 's the only thing I want to hear right now. You don't mean that"

I laugh bitterly. I can't believe she said that after I chased her like crazy.

"Wha, what? I....I....I don't mean that?" I got a little mad cause it's not easy for me to say those words. She has no idea.

"Do you know what trouble that will cause me due to the fact that I am here now? Huh? The same trouble as yours" I should say it. She has to know, I left Korea while I still have a schedule for this past 3 days. JYPE would fire me.

"I took the fastest plane to Osaka when I knew that you were home. I am an idol but I slept at the Kansai Airport waited for the dawn, I visited your home, met your mom. Knowing that you weren't there I flew again to the first flight that I could catch to Sapporo, I took a train to Sapporo Station after. I rode another 6 hours train just to reached Wakkanai because there was no direct flight that day due to the storm. I am here! I knocked every hotel in Wakkanai, I visited all the tourist attractions here, I visited Cape Soya for the past 3 days cause my guts told me that you would be there. I drove like crazy hoping that I could see you, only you! I turned my life upside down, got into troubles just to be with you. How dare you said that I don't mean it when I say that I love you?" In her life, I never raise my tone when I speak, I always am the calm type. But not today.

"I love you so much it hurt, Mina Unnie. I am here because I don't know my life would be without you, I don't know my life would be when I couldn't see you first thing in the morning, and before I sleep, cause I have to see you every day. Even you always pulled a "push and pull" act towards me, that's okay for me as long as I could see you every day. Even I can't be your source of happiness, that is also okay as long as I could see you every day. I love you, and it's okay to love you that way. And it's hard loving you for the past 8 years, it's hard for me, Unnie. I always wanted to stop, I even try to open my heart again because I closed it just for you. I even have a boyfriend, but you can't get out of my mind. I can't look at you without feeling love" She needs to know everything.

There's no one there as the night come and greet. We are free to talk and shouts to each other since no one will never know as well what we've been talking about.