⊲|Chapter:57 'WHY ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME?'|⊳

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|🌀|CHAPTER: 57|🌀|

Those messages–once they used to make you blush, make you smile, they used to make your heart swell, make you feel special, make you forget about everything that's happening in your surroundings and generated this weird-but-good feeling inside your heart.

But now?

You cry rivers when you see the same messages.

You can't prevent your heart from sinking deeper and deeper.

You can't stop yourself from feeling lifeless.

You can't help but feel empty without their presence in your life.

You can't help but recall all the good times you spent together and sulk over the fact that you can't be like that with them again. Because it is clear to you that it is not possible.

So you choose to let out all your emotions with each tear that slips down your cheeks making its path down to your chin and falling at your phone's screen. And then you stare at your gear until the screen goes black.

Has it ever happened to you? The more you reread them, the more the emptiness of your heart increases. The deeper you go, the hollow the hole in your chest becomes–the hole that is a picture of how alone you are without them, how incomplete you are without them, how much you depend on them and how much you need them.

The conversation between me and Carter, once made my cheeks go red with this giddy feeling inside me. But now when I accidentally came across one of our conversations, I couldn't stop the tears from leaving my eyes. I couldn't keep myself from letting out multiple sobs at how much I missed him.

How much I missed blushing like that. How much I missed having that giddy feeling in my heart. How much I missed smiling like a lunatic at the screen whenever he texted me.

I opened Carter's number and tapped on the edit option. I had saved it as 'Farter ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️'. Yes, his name was accompanied by four hearts. But my fingers moved and added more hearts to his name until more hearts stopped showing on the screen. Sighing, I saved his number like that, my eyes not getting dry yet.

Now there were more hearts accompanying his name. I realized that after all of this my love for him was not affected. Not even a bit. I tried. I tried hard to forget him, to fall out of love with him, to fall In love with someone who I had to spend my whole life with, to move on but the opposite of that happened.

My love for him increased. It increased like nothing else. I had started to love him with not just my heart but the whole of my body. And it ached, being aware of the fact that I was hurting him ached. It pained me to think of how my life was going to be in some days.

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