Chapter 34

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"Day Three" of Weirdmaggedon. Gravity Malls, Wendy's POV

I hit the record button on the voice recorder.

"Day three of the apocalypse. I've remained uncaptured and hidden. My nacho trap is still intact. Dad and my brothers are nowhere to be seen. Wendy, out."

"Hello," a monster says.

On reflex, I shoot it with my crossbow. Then I realize it's just the local news reporter, Tony? Tory? Toby? Eh, it's one of those three. I hop out of the plant I'm using for cover.

"Sorry, thought you were a monster," I said.

"It's okay. Almost everyone does."

I hear the doors to the mall open.

"Hide," I instruct as I hop back into the plant.

"Oh, nachos!" I hear Jay exclaim.

"The last nachos on earth," Dipper replies.

They must have picked them up, because then they both called for help. I popped up from the plant and laughed. Jay was lying on top of Dipper, who was scrambling around. They both looked over at me.

"Wendy!?" Dipper exclaimed. "Oh no! You've been transformed into some sort of... tree monster!"

"Ha!" I laugh, stepping out of the plant. "It's just camouflage. My dad made me and my brothers do apocalypse training every year instead of Christmas. Guess it's sort of cool the paranoia paid off." A bat flies by and I shoot it. "Nice! Bat meat. Let me get that for ya."

I throw my ax at the top and they fell to the floor. Somehow, they flipped around, and Jay landed on the floor first. Dipper gets off of him.

"Sorry."

Jay coughs. "I'll live."

Dipper turns to me and gives me a hug. I'm surprised, but return it. "Wendy, I'm so glad to find you! I thought everyone I knew was gone."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Jay asked.

"Besides you."

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We have each other now. And Toby Determined, who I accidentally mistook for a monster."

We turn to look at him.

"This just in: this arrow in my shoulder."

Jay gets up and rips it out.

"Ow," Toby said.

"We shouldn't stay out in the open for too long. Let me show you my hideout," I say, leading them to Edgy on Purpose. I close the gate as an eye-bat flies by. Jay helps me start a fire so I can cook the bat. "We were playing Truth or Dare in the cemetery when it happened. The eyeballs froze Nate, Lee, Tambry and Thompson. Robbie almost got away but had to pause to take a selfie. What about you?"

"I was watching Duck-tective with Zane," Jay said.

"I was in a fight with Mabel when it happened," Dipper added. "Great Uncle Ford asked me to be his apprentice once the summer was over. But that would mean I wouldn't go back home. It would mean growing up without Mabel."

"Oh, dude," I gasp.

"Mabel didn't take it well and she ran off into the forest. She couldn't even look me in the eye."

"And Lloyd followed her, while Dipper just stayed in the doorway," Jay added.

"Jay," Dipper said.

"What?"

I shook my head. "Come on. Let's get some fresh air. Toby, Jay, you watch the camp."

I led Dipper to the roof. It was then I noticed he was wearing his gi. "Woah, did you get in a fight or something?"

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