I didn't think you cared.
We've been texting for 5 hours straight and I told you that my parents thought I was depressed.
You asked if I was and I said I didn't know.
And you asked if I felt like no one liked me.
And I said yes.
And you got hurt.
You said
"Stop."
"People do like you."
"I promise." And it made me feel like you cared.
I didn't think you thought about your words until I asked you about the stars.
I said they made me happy and you said they made you depressed because you knew they were all dead or were going to die and disappear.
And I asked if you thought the stars were disappointed in us and you said yes.
That we have been ruining this world by trying to perfect it.
Then you asked what I was doing and in return I asked what you were doing.
You said you were wondering how your words had effected me.
And I felt like you thought them through.
I didn't think you knew what it was like to hate yourself.
To be depressed.
To be suicidal.
You knew.
You knew all too well.
And it broke my heart when you said that you hated yourself.
That you're weird.
That you're not loved.
But I love you I wanted to whisper.
When you talked about how you had a suicide note and were ready to take your life with your fathers gun In hand.
But you didn't.
I didn't think you would be mad.
When I told you about what my ex did to me you got so mad.
You said you wished you could kill him.
That he was so fucked up for doing that to me.
That he didn't deserve me.
That I could have done so better.
I didn't think I had feelings for you.
I didn't think I had feelings for you but when you called me sexy my heart stopped.
And when you said you loved me because of a joke I made I wished you meant it.
I didn't think you liked me.
You flirted with my best friend.
She was my wing man and she grew feelings for you.
You called her princess and beautiful.
But you called me amazing and too sexy.
I was so confused.
I felt heartbreak again because I thought you didn't like me.
Yet today you say you love me
What is it?
Me or her?
And I just your fuck buddy that you go to when your horny?
Why do you call her beautiful?
And why do you make me feel beautiful...
Who do you love,Jonathan?
