With a more detailed, but lighthearted baby conversation behind us, I'm feeling less anxious and Prince seems to be even more excited. We agree that we aren't going to turn our love life into a baby making mission, but instead, continue with making love as the urge arises, leaving conception to the powers that be.
The topic switches to food when my stomach growls, he always makes such a funny face when it happens. "You have the most vocal stomach I have ever heard," he laughs as he pulls me from the couch. "Come on, let's get something to eat, but then I need to get back to the studio."
Back downstairs, he leaves me sitting in the 'little kitchen' as he calls it, and disappears out of sight only to return quickly. Once seated, he backtracks onto something I said earlier, "You said today was weird," he sips some water, "because of your period?" He's sitting in a relaxed manner, kind of slouched in the booth. I know his legs are splayed out, because his feet are on either side of mine under the table.
I frown and shake my head, "Well, yes and no," I take a minute to think back over the morning. "It has a little to do with that, because I had to stop at the Walgreen's on the way." As soon as the words leave my mouth, he sits in a more upright position and crosses his legs, his chin lifts and his hands fold neatly on his top knee. I pause, my eyes widen slightly, staring at him as I take in his every movement. Finally, I blink, he's waiting in silence, so I continue, "I stopped because I needed tampons, some Midol and a heating pad." He stays quiet and motionless as a statue. "The cashiers recognized me as soon as I walked in the door," I divulge.
His chin lifts a little higher, there's a storm brewing in his eyes, "Go on," he urges.
"They mostly just stared at me, the woman who rang me up congratulated me, though." I finish.
He wets his lips, then presses them between his teeth before letting them roll back to relaxed, he looks down at his hands, now it's my turn to wait. Instantly I feel like a child who has just confessed to doing something very bad. I'm torn between my need to please this man and being angry at him for making me feel guilty when I've done nothing wrong. "Sugar," he starts in a very controlled manner, "why didn't you call Kirk?" His eyebrows raise as he waits for my answer.
"Tampons, Midol and a heating pad," I restate, "there's no way I'd call Kirk." I have the floor, so I add, "And Marcus is in Tennessee, and even though I'm more comfortable with him, I wouldn't have called him, either."
"I understand that, but either one of them could have covered for Monica, she could have went for you."
"Well, I didn't know that, but, Prince: tampons, Midol and a heating pad. Really?"
Ray steps up to the table, we instantly fall silent as he sets plates of food in front of us. His warm, friendly smile fades as he assess us, he nods politely and leaves briskly. Wise man, I think.
Prince's eyes follow Ray as he leaves the area, then focus back on mine, before he can open his mouth, I'm already talking. I remember to stay civil, "I'm almost 42 years old, I've been on my own a long time, without answering to anybody." His mouth opens and I hold up my finger and shake my head, "That was an innocent, but necessary, pit stop that I made today to the drugstore. You're going to have to allow me to be an adult in this relationship or we might as well end this now." I say firmly before pushing my untouched plate away, I'm no longer hungry.
I watch as several different emotions play out on Prince's face and in his eyes, but what he says surprises me, concern has won. "Please, you need to eat," he takes a bite of his food, watching me as he chews and swallows. "Please," he urges gently.
I maneuver my plate back in front of me and take a bite, it's delicious and I make a soft sound of appreciation. Prince smiles his satisfied smile and nods, the meal starts out tense but we soon relax. I'm really amazed that he didn't raise his voice to me after I challenged him.
When we finish eating, he stands, extending his hand to me, which I cautiously take. We've been silent throughout the meal and I'm unsure what to expect as he leads me back through the Atrium and into Studio A. Here we go, I think, it's showtime.
Once the door is closed, and locked, he turns to me, holding out his arms, "Come here," he says softly. I hesitate for a split second before stepping into his open arms, and return his embrace. After a moment of silence, he whispers, "I love you, Baby."
"I love you, too. So, you're not mad at me?"
He pulls back to look into my eyes, and shakes his head, "No." His hands slide down my arms as he releases me, stepping back, he presses his hands together like a in prayer, resting it against his lips while he thinks. His head lifts and his fingers intertwine, "Do you know why I ask you not to go places alone?"
"You're worried someone's going to hurt me?"
He shakes his head calmly, "No, not so much that's someone's going to hurt you." He averts his gaze before looking back at me, "It's because I love you so much, I want somebody watching over you. I'm not always easy to reach if there's an emergency."
"I can understand that, but I've always been able to care of myself," I counter.
He turns serious, "What if Marcus wasn't with you that day you passed out in the garage? Hmmm? I'm not ready to lose you, I just found you."
This shuts me up, it really could have played out bad, even I know this. Now, I can understand a bit more why he wants me to have a chaperone. I explore a new angle, "So we live in constant fear of the 'what if' ?"
This shifts his thinking into a whole new direction, I can see him fighting an internal struggle, because living in fear is not something Prince will condone. He acknowledges my perspective with a nod, "I guess we're going to have to meet in the middle on this, huh?"
"Please." I feel him out.
He points playfully at me, "Just don't push it, okay?" Then he adds more seriously, "You can go some places alone, within reason."
"Thank you," I pull him back into a hug. I'm not going to ask him what 'within reason' is, right now I'm just pleased he's willing to yield at all. Baby steps.
We kiss goodbye, which turns into another kiss. "I'll see you later, Sugar," he says as he unlocks the door for me. He pauses to stroke my face tenderly before closing the door behind me, I know he has music to make.
