We fall back into our daily routines the very next day and I'm fine with that, at first, since we're both busy people. With it being mid July, I have plenty to keep me busy at the shop, the Arboretum and in our own garden. At this point I am eternally grateful for the cleaning women that come to the house weekly, and Ray's insistence on delivering meals to me.
Prince has a lot going on right now with the forthcoming album releases, and even though he felt the re-signing with Warner Bros. was in his best interest, they are still proving to be quarrelsome about his desire to have the two albums released simultaneously. This new development is causing him to retract a bit more from our relationship, when he does come home, he's preoccupied and detached. I do my best to soothe him, and he apologizes more often than not about his demeanor as he paces restlessly throughout the house and the garden.
Our once insatiable love life has began to suffer as well, he still touches and kisses, there's a warmth to his actions, but no fire. He rarely comes to bed anymore, but when he does, he's in his pajamas, and is usually up and dressed before I wake in the morning. Only on a couple occasions when I've heard him in the shower and joined him, have I been able to persuade him to make love. I do have to say that, in as few and far between that we have made love recently, that it seems it's only time he's actually present. The remoteness returns quickly after the physical need is met.
July ends, August begins, my birthday comes and goes unnoticed, as I knew it would. My new passport arrives, but remains untouched, tucked safely away in my office. Prince goes days now before returning home from Paisley, and sometimes I log as many as 45 volunteer hours per week at the Arboretum.
Mid August, with the onset of my third period since the miscarriage, my emotions get the best of me. I decide not to volunteer at the Arboretum that day, but to go to Paisley and hopefully interact with Prince on some level.
Arriving at Paisley, Monica looks surprised to see me when I stride through the doors, greet her and continue down the hallway toward Studio A.
"He's in his office," she calls from behind me, trying to be helpful.
"Thank you, I'll be right back," I call back. I've been pretty scarce at Paisley lately, but it hasn't went unnoticed by me that the flower I gave him no longer resides in the center circle of his symbol. I collect the withering plant from Studio A and return to the desk where I ask Monica to call him in his office, "Tell him: a Dana Larson would like to schedule an appointment, if he can squeeze me in."
Monica frowns as my request, but dials and repeats my words verbatim, she says no more before she returns the phone to it's cradle. I hear the door click open, Prince appears from around the corner looking apologetic, "Come in, Sugar," before he retreats in silence.
He waits at the door until I enter, then it's closed and locked behind us. I set the plant on his desk and when he turns, I pull him into my arms. He hesitates at first, then slowly I feel the tension leave his body as he melts against me and his arms tighten. "I'm sorry, Baby. Is everything alright?"
I whisper into his ear, "You tell me."
I feel his body swell as he takes a deep breath then says unconvincingly, "Everything's fine."
I step back, leaving my hands resting on his arms, my eyes plead with him for the truth, "Is it?"
When he doesn't respond immediately, I release him and flop into the chair that faces his desk, he follows my lead and takes his seat across the desk from me. His eyes sadden as he takes in the failing flower before looking back at me. "Sugar, I know you think it's not, but it is. I'm finally making leeway with Warner Bros., they've agreed to release the second album a week after the first."
I nod before taking a deep breath, "There is the matter of an upcoming wedding that hasn't been discussed since you put this ring on my finger. Have you decided to postpone it, or...."
His expression turns serious, "There will be a wedding, I promise you that. Everything is already in motion for October 24th."
I nod again, but I know the relief is evident on my face. "Do you have any scissors?"
He frowns as he nods, and produces a pair from the top drawer, handing them to me handle first. I take the scissors and start snipping at the flower, cutting it all the way back to the dirt, while he stares in wide-eyed alarm. "Is it dead?" he asks gently when I finish.
"No." I scoop the dried pieces into my hand and stand to deposit them into a nearby trash can, he watches my every move. I slide the pot towards him, "At first glance, it would appear to be, but it's what you can't see that matters. This flower was picked specifically for you, because it's surprisingly resilient. It can handle a fair amount of neglect before it will actually die. It's not that far gone, yet."
I move behind him and rest my cheek against his, hugging his shoulders, I whisper into his ear, "Love, light, and water, Prince. You have the ability to bring it back, to make it beautiful, again."
I press a kiss to his cheek and move calmly to the door. I don't speak or look back as I open it, or pass through, shutting the door quietly behind me. I only pause to wave at Monica before I leave the building to head home.
