as i lay there in the dark i realised something. something had been running around in my head for a long time. maybe my life isn't as simple as i thought. not at all. my life's just messed up.
"did you text your mom to tell her you're sleeping over?" joey asks me as he sits on the bed beside me. i stay staring at the ceiling. all these thoughts flying through my head.
joey sighs at my lack of speech, and stands back up, walking towards his bathroom.
"joey?" i finally begin to speak. he turns around to face me. "what is it?" he asks, a sad expression in his face.
i ask the one question in my head. "is jacob really dangerous?" then i sit up in joeys bed. joey looks at the floor, and shrugs. "what even is dangerous nowadays?" he looks at me after a couple seconds, making eye contact.
"he can't be," i say, feeling the tears coming on once again. "why didn't you leave me to speak to him? why did you have to make me leave? that wasn't your choice to make." i feel my voice begin to crack, as a gentle tear rolls down my cheek.
"because i need you stay safe. maybe jacob is dangerous- maybe there's a chance you'll get hurt." joey begins to raise his voice, his face turning a more red shade than before.
"jo-" he cuts me off straight away. "or maybe it's because i'm jealous. i don't want you to be with him, i know exactly what you feel for him." joey walks close to me, his eyes fixed on mine.
the guilt i feel takes over, i'm frozen. nothing to say, nothing to deny- "and maybe. just maybe- it's because i still love you charlotte." joey speaks, and i listen as his voice fades away at the end.
there's nothing to say. how do you respond to that? my body stays still. no movement from either of us. just our eyes fixed right on each other.
"maybe i just want you to be safe." and with this, i finally move my eyes away from joey. i pick up my phone and do the one thing i think possible to do in this situation.
i order a pizza.
——-
it's now 4am. i haven't slept at all. i look to joey, whos lying in his shirt and underwear to the left of me.
"joey?" i whisper quietly. "are you awake?" i wait a couple seconds, there's still no answer. as i let out a huge sigh, i turn around and face away from him.
the change of me getting sleep right now is less than 10%. "lotte?" joey speaks up. i smile to myself, realising he's awake.
we never spoke about anything that joey said, we ate pizza, drank soda- acted like the best friends we're meant to be.
"hey." i say, turning back around to face joey once more. his body is now facing me too, and i can faintly see his face in the dark.
"i think that you should text jacob." joey says, surprising me completely. "what?" i say, could this day get any weirder??
"admit it charlotte. you're in love with him." joey speaks. "i'm sorry i can't love you joey." i tell him, and i notice his smile in the dark.
"i want you to be happy, and what i said earlier? that was selfish and my personal feelings. if you feel safe with jacob then that's where you're safe."
i realise how lucky i am at this moment in time. i was wrong- i am a normal teenage girl. a normal girl who's struggled some pretty bad times, but maybe ahead there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
i pick up my cellphone, and search for jacobs name, now noticing what time it is, i press the text icon.
our chat only lasted a minute or two- well, let me show you how it went.
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if i was any of you guys reading this right now then i'd literally want to stab me for ending the chapter there- BUT DONT WORRY. i'm updating soon!
I'm so happy with the ending- and i hope you all are too. does anyone else feel sorry for joey tho :/
