38 | you shouldve spoke up

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~ charlottes pov

"wake up." i say to jacob, shaking his shoulder.
he yawns and stretches his back before turning over and putting his leg over me.

"jacob.. we've got to go out to meet this teacher." i say and jacob sighs , his eyes still closed.
today i plan to visit a professor at the college nearby. i'm hoping to find something i want to study- as so far i'm pretty much unsure what to do with my life.

"jac-" jacob leans up and begins to kiss my neck softly.
i move my head , and slap his cheek lightly.
"we don't have time for this , come on!!" i say and he groans , still hardly moving.

i stand up out of bed and walk over to my bathroom. my parents are out of town once again.
i turn on the water and take off my pjs , stepping into the hot shower.

so many thoughts cross my mind as i begin to wash my hair. what do i want to do? should i think of teaching like i've always wanted to do ? and also i love animals, what about a vet?

i sigh at how indecisive i am, and continue to wash myself before stepping back out the shower.

jacob finally knocks the door , before opening it and walking inside. i stand with the towel wrapped around my bare body.
"what do you think i should do?" i ask him and he smiles at me.

"i think you should give it a couple more months, take some time off before you start college searching and planning your life." jacob says and i roll my eyes at him.

"i'm not planning my life- i'm planning what i want to study. and anyway this is just advice and help, who says i won't change my mind?" i tell him and he shrugs his shoulders and bites his lip.

"what?" i say and he smiles at me.
"you just look really good without any makeup." he tells me and i look at myself in the mirror laughing.

it's funny how a guy finds you best natural when most girls prefer them self covered.
i personally am not that confident with my face or body, but jacob helps me a lot with that.

"thank you." i blush and stand on the tips of my toes placing a kiss on his lips.
"now shower.. we leave soon." i tell him and he nods his head.

——-

i decided to wear a blue pair of shorts and a red crop top, with a denim jacket. it's around 100 degrees outside, i need to be cool.

"does this look okay?" i ask jacob as he drives us to the college he goes to daily.
"of course it does, you always look good." he says and i cringe slightly but smile.

i stare out the window as the beautiful buildings and nature pass us by.

"wouldn't it be amazing if we went to the same college, i mean i know it's nearby but we could share a cute apartment in the area." i say to jacob, but he keeps his view fixated on the road ahead.

"i mean.. only if you wanted to?" i finish. hoping i haven't moved things too fast and scared him away.
"would you want to go to a college nearby?" he asks me and i nod my head.

"of course.. my family's nearby. we live in a nice town in virginia there's not much better than this."

jacob doesn't look at me again.
"why? were you thinking of something or someWHERE else?" i ask and he shrugs his shoulders.

"it's just.. this college here, it's a great place. it's fun , and i enjoy it but.. maybe it's not what i want." he says and i lean over placing my hand on his.

"you want something better? that would mean leaving the state.. the best college within a reasonable distance is something like harvar-"

"i got accepted into harvard." jacob blurts our quickly and finally looks over at me.
"wait.. wait what?" i ask confused and he nods his head.

"they want me to start there as soon as possible. i was even thinking after summer-" jacob hesitates. "i mean.. if i do accept."

i feel lost for words.
"do you realise how far away that is?" i ask him.
"it's an 11 hour drive from here." he tells me and i sigh.
"so you're just gonna leave me like that?"

"i was going to tell you.. i just didn't know when. i'm not even sure if i'm gonna accept it yet char."
i puff loudly with anger. "turn the car around, i'm not really in the mood to go to a meeting right now."

"charlotte you've been wanting this for-"
"TURN THE CAR AROUND." i almost scream, and jacob shakes his head in disappointment before turning the car around, and driving us back towards the house.

——

"how long have you known about this?" i finally speak up as we approach my house. that 15 minutes drive felt like a lifetime.

"i don't know- like 2 weeks?" he responds and i bite into the inside of my mouth to stop me from getting mad.

jacob unbuckles his belt to get out the car.
"i'm gonna go in myself actually" i tell jacob as he tries to step out of the car.
"i'll call you tomorrow." i say, and slam the car door closed before walking towards my house, tears fill my eyes as i reach the door.

i guess i am pretty selfish.

——

hiii babies ! i'm really sorry for being so inactive.

- firstly i just want to say rip to xxxtentacion.
he was such an amazing singer who helped me through many problems.
i'm really sad about what's happened :(

also, i just wanna point out that last chapter i said harvard was halfway across the country. that was actually a mistake as it's not as far as i anticipated.
i did fix the mistake, so sorry for any inconvenience !

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