Kakashi X Reader : You're not Alone

Recovery pt.4

A few days had passed, which meant your week off of training was almost over. Kakashi was sitting comfortably in one of your chairs, reading one of his books per usual. Today was much like any other day since the forest event.

But ever since you heard Kakashi's words about the cemetery, and how visiting makes him feel less alone, you worried about him.
"Maybe he's just like me?" You thought to yourself.

After some time deciding if you should say anything, you come to your decision and speak to him.

"Kakashi." you say gently.

"Hm?"

"I know you don't want me prying at your personal life, but.. I wanted to assure you that you're not ever alone. You have many friends and comrades in the village! They all care about you, and so do I. A lot. We'd fight by your side and risk our lives with you!" You rambled.

"I know that." he responded seemingly frustrated. "I know there are people who will fight aside me, and will risk their life to fulfill a mission or do the greater good. That is a duty of a Shinobi. Somewhat of an obligation you could even say. It has nothing to do with loneliness.... at least not in ones heart."  He looks down at the floor, and gets up to leave.

"Please don't leave." You beg, moved to tears at his response. You walk up to him and grab the side of his shirt in your hand.

" Im not just talking from a shinobi point of view Kakashi. You are more than just a comrade to me. I have always admired you from afar, and I have always dreamed of training with you.... and I can't really say it was for trainings sake. I just wanted to be with you." You confess. Kakashi keeps his head down, but lays his hand on your shoulder as you continue.

"If it is your heart that is feeling lonely Kakashi, you should know that mine belongs to you. My heart is with yours and it'll never be alone again."

You've got it out there. The few years you spent admiring him and adoring him from afar are no longer a secret. You've confessed your love to him. It makes you nervous so you begin to ramble more.

"And if perhaps you're not interested in keeping it then that's okay too! As long as I can be here for you and help you feel even a little less alone then that will make me happy too of course, an.." before you finish a tear from Kakashi's face drops to the floor.

There's silence for a moment, and then Kakashi lifts his head. Clearly moved by your words, he thinks hard before he returns any back to you.

"(Y/N)... I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be alone and I'm afraid not to be. If I'm alone it hurts, but it hurts worse to lose someone you care so much about, and the loneliness after that loss is horrible. I can't do it again." His eyes fill with tears but he fights them back.

"No matter how much I want to." He finishes, as his hand slips from your shoulder and falls to his side. He turns quickly and leaves your home, saying nothing else to you. You start to tremble as you fight your tears.

You remain motionless as you stare at the door your heart just walked through.