Forbidden / Shayne Topp

Eleven: Sorrows

Driving was peaceful for a while, but when you are trying to play your music on your phone and you have so many different people calling you, it wasn't. I got to the point where I yanked my phone off the aux cord and threw my phone on the floor of the jeep and decided to play my radio instead. My tears were dried up on my cheeks and my eyes were still so very red.

I never thought Anthony would ever do this to me.

No matter what I was thinking before, I did love the Anthony Padilla of Smosh. I didn't love him for what his job was, but I loved him for who he was. A guy who was okay with being himself and a guy who loved me for who I was. He didn't have to keep talking to me that day we bumped into each other at that Comic Con, but he said he saw my pictures on Instagram and Twitter, then talked me into doing a YouTube channel.

He saw more in me than I saw in myself, and that's why I fell in love with him.

When Anthony and I had first started talking about dating, he told me there was another girl in his life. They weren't anything serious, but when Kalel and Anthony ended, he got closer with Miel because she was there for him. He even admitted about how they were gonna try to be a thing, but when he tried to work stuff out with Kalel, Kalel rejected and Anthony almost lost his chance with Miel.

And then he met me.

He said it was the way I looked at him. Looking past his past with starting up Smosh, ex girlfriends, and all the negatives. I looked at him for him and he knew I did. When a week past by, we went on our first date and he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I was skeptical at first because of Miel, but Anthony admitted how he didn't think it was going to work out and he wanted to be with me instead.

It made me feel good about myself to be a first choice...

When I was in high school, guys chose me because of my looks. They never wanted to be with me because of my personality; no, they wanted me for my looks. But when I thought back to those times, none of those guys mattered to me because I was young. I knew love didn't mean anything at that age.

Then Anthony came into my life and I had my first real true love.

Tears started filling up in my eyes again, but I held them back. I had to be strong when I drove to see my father at work. He didn't need to see his little girl crying about a boy. When my dad first met Anthony, he worried about Anthony's future with Smosh. My dad thought I made good money for being a producer, but it was the thought of Anthony making videos for the rest of his life was something he couldn't understand.

Trust me, I've had the thought too, but fans love Anthony and Anthony loves the fans.

I pulled up at my dads work and parked the jeep. I was hesitant to walk in because of how nice this building is and how much of a mess I looked after today. But I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached down at the floor to grab my phone. My heart started racing when I went to check what my missed calls and messages were.

Boze: 30 iMessages
Tristan: 24 iMessages
7 Missed Calls from Tristan
18 Missed Calls from Boze
75 Missed Calls from Anthony

And almost over 100 messages from Anthony. I didn't even unlock my phone to check what the messages were. I know Anthony reached out to Tristan and I knew Tristan reached out to Boze about me. Who knows who Boze will reach out too when I still don't respond to her.

But I looked at the time and my mouth dropped. I was driving for a very long time and realized I killed my gas while doing it. I hadn't eaten anything, I was parked for a long time when I was having breakdowns, and I just kept driving until I had a destination to go. It was almost four and I wanted it to be later so when I go back to Tristan's, he would already be asleep and not ask me where I was.