BBS One Shots

A Good Kind Of Madness (H2OVanoss)

Trigger Warning: Self harm and mentions of Suicide

“Freak!”  One cut. “Just fucking die!” Two cuts. “No one likes you, you have like zero friends.” three cuts. “You’re a fucking psychopath!” four…….“Why don’t you just go end it all!” five cuts, six cuts, seven cuts more……

I watched the blood run down my arm, mixed with the tears that dripped down from my face. The voices in my head repeated the words of my peers over and over, making me sob harder. The red droplets of blood continued to hit the white tile floor, seeping into the cement cracks like man made rivers. I laughed at my analogy but it quickly erupted into ugly sobs.

“Why do I have to be so crazy? So weird? Why! Why do I have to be like this!” I screamed, knowing no one could hear me. No one cares enough to hear me anyways. Except maybe one person. Evan.

But that made me sob even harder. He wasn’t here right now. He was at a friend’s place. He left before I had gotten back to our dorm. He is the only friend I have that understands, besides Luke but I lost him to the rope a few years ago. I started to cry again, bringing the blade back to my wrist.

“Maybe I can join him. I’m too crazy for this world anyways.”I laughed a little at the end, placing the cold metal onto my arm. I was about to drag it across the soft skin but I heard the front door open.

“Del, I’m home!” A soft angelic voice drifted from the front room to my ears. I smiled a little and turned back to my knife, my smile fading.

“Del? You home?” Evan yelled again and I heard soft footsteps coming towards the bathroom. I edged away from the door, trying to wipe my tears away before he saw me. I quickly pulled my hoodie sleeve over my wrist and hid the knife behind my back.

“Del?” He opened the bathroom door, looking confused at the stained red tiles. The crimson rivers lead his beautiful brown eyes to my weak form. His eyes widened and I gave him a small smile.

“Del! Oh my god are you okay?! What happened?” He was on his knees in front of me, his eyes filled with worry. I just let out a sob and fell into his shoulder crying. He wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m so sorry, Evan.” I cried, causing him to pull my face away from his shoulder. He wiped my tears away and tilted his head at me.

“What are you sorry for? Del, what happened? Why are you crying and why is there blood everywhere?” He asked, gesturing around the room. I sniffed and looked down at my hoodie sleeves, which now were blood soaked.

Evan followed my gaze and his eyes widened. I started crying again as he slowly rolled up my sleeves, looking at the fresh cuts mixed in with the old scarred ones. He sighed and pulled me into his lap, letting me cry into his shirt.  

“Oh, Jon…Who’s making you do this? Who’s hurting my baby?” He asked, rubbing my hair. I sniffed and looked up at him.

 “These kids at school…Evan, I know it shouldn’t bother me but there was just so many. They kept calling me freak and kept telling me to kill myself and they called me crazy. I mean they’re not wrong about that but I never thought of it as a bad thing but now I don’t know I’m just so-” my rambling was cut off by soft and cold lips being placed on mine.

I quickly welcomed the kiss, feeling needy and vulnerable. His lips were just so comforting and welcoming. He pulled away and gently grabbed my bloody wrist, bring it up to his lips. He planted a kiss on each cut, new or old before looking up at me and smiling.

“Jon, don’t let them get to you. They just want to push you to this. Don’t give them that satisfaction.There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are the weirdest, craziest, cutest, and most strong and loyal man I’ve ever met. If you left I don’t know what I’d do. You have a good kind of madness and it keeps me sane. I love you.” He finished his speech with a kiss.

I smiled and kissed back, glad to have such a man in my life. I pulled away and wiped my tears.

“I love you too, Evan.”

Hey guys! Greetings and Salutations! Sooooooooooo I'm sorry that this one is sad and has this kinda stuff but ya know I'm depressed on the inside secretly. Well now it's not so secret but oh well 😃. Anyways, 1.05k reads! I honestly never thought I'd make it farther then 60 reads. Thank you guys for coming back to read more depressing gay ones shots with every update I make. I appreciate it so much guys! Well, that's all I have for right now, thanks again and as always I hope ye enjoyed!

-Meow🍰😐🐷🍔😈😞😁🔫🍫🐱