BBS One Shots

Worthless (MiniCat)

Trigger Warning: This one just hits hard to home. Self depreciation I think is a good word for it.

Do you ever get that feeling where you're not mad at anyone or anything, you're just mad and upset? Like suddenly the whole weight of your life and all stress just crushes you? Reality rains down on you like an air raid. But there's nothing you can really do about it. You don't know how to fix it so you just let it happen. And you don't know how to explain it to people so they assume you're angry with them which makes them confused and worried they did something when it's just you? Just because a higher power decided to open your eyes to the shitty life you're actually living. Welcome to my life.

"He's been in there since last Wensday. He doesn't eat or talk really. It's mostly just him yelling at me to leave him alone." I can hear my boyfriend talking to our friends outside my door.

What friends are you referring to? The ones that only decide to visit you after you've been in this state for weeks? Huh.

"I never recall asking for your fucking opinion." I growl outloud.

I'm surprised you still have a boyfriend. I would have left your ugly ass by now. No one likes a depressing anorexic. Did you notice by the way how you're slowly losing fat?

I shake my head and let out what sounds like a whimper. I sound so pathetic. I probably look as pathetic. I take a minute to look down at my body, pulling up a tent in my once tighter fitting shirt. It now is more loose, the baggy fabric bunching up on my stomach. The constant rumbling in my stomach doesn't help.

Like I said. Soon enough you'll be a fragile little twig and he'll leave you for another beefcake he can fuck. We all know that's why he keeps you around. To fuck you and for you to protect him. Cause your worthless.

I feel tears weld up in my eyes as I turn from the door, hearing it creak open. I compress my tears and sobs I to silence, taking quiet and laboring breaths. Footsteps approach my bed as I feel a dip on the other side.

How sweet. At least he's come to say goodbye to you. Now he's going to leave you die in this shit hole. Alone. With no one to hold your weak pathetic shriveled up body. He's probably got some of your friends lined up as possible boyfriends.

"Tyler? Hon how are you feeling?" I can't bring myself to answer him as my body starts to shake and twitch. I still compress my tears.

Answer him I dare you. Show him how weak you are. Cry. Show him what a pathetic little pussy you are. How stupid.

Worthless.

Stop....

Ugly.

You're lying....

Pathetic.

Leave me alone!

He doesn't love you. How could anyone who isn't a retard love you? You're so pathetic and stupid. I remember specifically your mother's face after she went through hours of pain to bring your ugly ass into this life. She looked so disappointed. Why haven't you killed yourself yet, Tyler?

"Tyler?"

Wouldn't you be doing everyone a favor?

"Tyler baby tall to me. You're scaring me."

Make it easier on us and end your worthless, pathetic, stupid, ugly, whore life.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! I WON'T DO IT! I WON'T!" an outburst of tears flood from my body.

I grab at my hair, screaming and crying. I won't listen to it! I won't! I thrash around on the bed, sobbing my heart out.

"It's all lies! It lied! It's lying!" I scream, hearing faintly Craig trying to calm me down.

I feel too arms wrap around my body, holding me in a warm embrace. I suddenly feel safer. Warmer. I feel like everything is okay now. Nothing can hurt me. His hands soothingly running through my hair stop my shaking and his soft shhs calm my breaths.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay. I'm here for you." He whispers, causing me to whimper out.

"P...promise You'll never leave me..." I whisper, my voice hoarse and quiet.

"Why would you even think I would leave such a beautiful man? I have everything I need and want with you. I can't get what we have with anyone else." He replies, turning my head up to face him.

His beautiful blue eyes trap me in their gaze, pulling me into their light pools of warm water. I will never get over how lucky I am to have him. I wouldn't be here without him.

"I love you," I whisper, causing him to flash me a charming smile.

He holds my face in his hands. Wiping away some of the tears that stray on my face. He leans in, pressing a soft loving kiss on my chapped lips. His lips seem to pump life back into my body, love warming me from head to toes. He pulls away from me, running my cheek with a smile.

"I love you too, Tyler. And I'll always be here."

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇

It sucks when that happens and there is no one there to really care. To comfort you and shit. I just realized that all of these are just expressions of my problems. And I hate that. I apologize that barely any of these are happy and or normal but I guess that's how I do things. Sadness is a funny thing. I don't get it as often as I should.

-MEOW🍍