Stronger Then I've Ever Been

Chapter 8- Life Goes On

I do but don't regret everything I said to Destiny because most of everything I said was true. At the beginning there had been something that happened which I just don't want to think about because it is to emotionally scarring and after that whole thing realizing my parents weren't coming home I tried to take my own life. I was about to commit suicide but I couldn't do it. I still had the sliver of hope that my parents were somewhere out there. The thing that hurt me the most was that if they were still alive they forgot about me. That is what drove me to the edge of getting mad and drinking at a young age. I started drinking because I had heard someone say once that it helped you forget things for a little while. I had actually thought it worked but woke up with a huge hangover. Then the whole fighting thing happened and getting into the wrong crowd.

Even though Destiny had helped me through somethings she wasn't there for me with the hardest parts of my life. She was to worried about if her outfit was trendy enough or if her makeup looked to bold. She honestly has never looked at my side of the story and how I've been trying to learn to live with this.

The one thing that terrified me the most when I noticed my parents weren't coming back was getting foster cared and leaving the home I grew up in. Yes, I did lose most of my memories because of things but as time passes some came back to me. Such as one of when I was about five my parents had taken me to the Zoo and we had gone on a small little rollercoaster there. I was terrified at first but after that I didn't want to get off. That memory mainly came back to me because there was a picture in my living room of me on the ride with my dad and my hands were in the air my hair flying everywhere. My dad was laughing at me and there was genuine happiness that was obvious in the photo. It's my favorite picture in the house. My mom had been the one to take the picture because her job was a photographer. I remember that because there are pictures all over the house that she has taken and some of them I recognize but can't quite remember that day specifically.

Anyway right now I seem to be coming up to a gas station and my head is killing me because of whatever that drink was. I go into the store part and got a water, some pills to relieve my headache, and a bag of Cheeto puffs because those are delicious and luckily I always keep cash on me because you know just in case. I purchase my items and take out my phone to check the time but realize I left it at home because I thought I didn't need it. I'm stupider than stupid. I quickly pop the pill into my mouth and use the water to help swallow it. I then open my bag of Cheeto puffs and start to munch on them.

I begin walking again along the street and my side is starting to hurt from walking. I then hear a car pull up next to me but I keep going trying to ignore the sharp sting coming from my side.

"Get in the fucking car," I recognize the voice as Mason's.

"What if I don't want to," I sneer.

"Do you want me to pick you up instead then?" He asks glaring at me.

"Just leave me alone I'll get home eventually because I know this place like the back of my hand." I state.

"Well if you knew this place like the 'back of your hand' you wouldn't be going the opposite direction of your house and I think you've walked about one and a half miles already," he smirks.

"You know what why don't you go drive off into a wall please," I say angrily.

"What would you rather have me kidnap you?" I flinch.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath "Fine."

I get into his car and we sit there in silence the whole car ride. A few minutes later we arrive at my house and I get out of Masons car. I'm about to close the door but Mason speaks.

"Hey you okay?" He asks sounding concern.

"Tsk. Why would you care," I comment back.

"You're right. Why do I care you selfish bit-" is all I hear him say when I cut him off by slamming shut his door.

I go into my house and look around at the lonely place before me. The place looks like a normal family home but without a family. You walk in here and you just see me. A girl who is broken and hurt and much more but she hides those emotions. She's made barriers that nobody can reach past.

I break down right then and there. Memories of the past and present. Everything I've lost and will never be given back. It hurts so much. It feels like a constant stab in the chest. I've cried so much after my parents left. More times then I could ever count. It's like my heart is slowly crumbling to pieces waiting for the person who will be able to put it back together but that person doesn't exist. Well at least not for me. Yes, there are people who make me smile and laugh but they can never fix what's already been broken. They can't replace what's been gone for years. They can't fill that hole in my heart that's waiting for my parents to walk through that door and say 'We're home'. In books they make it seem easy to fill in that empty hole in your heart but it's not that easy. There is no love at first sight. There is no filling that hole or replacing it. All they do is just make everything a little more bearable.

As the crying dies down I feel myself lose just a bit more sanity. It honestly feels like I'm slowly becoming crazier as the days pass by. I despise people who have a loving Mom and Dad who care for them and stop them from doing dumb things. I dream for that. For the day my parents show up and teach me to be a good kid by grounding me and taking away my phone. Then I go and tell my friends the stupid reason why I don't have my phone.

I may have lost my friend today because I'm stupid but life goes on. I can't depend on people all the time to make me happy or satisfied. I don't want to go running back at her and make myself look desperate for a friend so instead I'll let her decide if she wants to continue this friendship or not.

Sometimes being alone is what is best for you...

A/N-

IM BACK!!

WELCOME BACK!!!

Anyway I hope you guys aren't mad at me for not posting... life happened....

But that doesn't matter right now what matters is that I finally posted and yah

Hope your enjoying the story because I think I'm enjoying it more then you guys...

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I'll see y'all later! BYE BYYYYYYYYEEEEE!
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