Expressing Thoughts-J.D

-40-

That night, Jenna and I sat on my large couch watching Greys Anatomy. Jim was curled up next to me, snoring just like his dad. Jenna had two tubs of ice cream, claiming she was 'eating for two' while I had one massive one in front of me.

"If I had Derek Shepherd, I would love him senseless. You know? I wouldn't get mad at anything he did, I would just love him" I rambled as we watched Meredith be annoying.

"I would take one look at him and be like 'yes, I will have your children'. I wouldn't even think twice" Jenna agreed, we nodded at each other.

"It's what Patrick Dempsey deserves" I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.

As we watched Meredith and Derek make out, I let out a loud whine.

"I miss Josh, I wanna kiss Josh, I wanna make out like that with him" I pointed my spoon at the screen and pouted. Jenna rubbed my back and nodded.

"I miss Tyler too." I gave her a warm smile, realising that she was in the same position as me.

"You have his child growing inside you, for nine months no matter where he is, you will have a part of him with you" I stared at her stomach. She removed her hand from me and rubbed her stomach.

"Isn't it perfect?" She grinned, I joined in with her grin and nodded. Suddenly her eyes welled up, she looked away from me and down at her stomach.

"Oh Jen" I put down my ice cream and scooted over to her to hug her.

"I know this week is going to be hard, I'm gonna cry a lot so you are just going to have to deal with it" her voice was stern so I just nodded.

"It's okay, there's a lot of hormones going around right now. We're gonna get through it" I tried to smile, she wiped her tears and looked up to the sky.

"Moment of madness over. Where's Derek?" She looked up at the screen again, I laughed to reassure her and scooted back over to Jim.

"Do you want Jim? He's an emotional support pup" I offered up my child, she stared at him for a second before nodding. As if by magic, Jim climbed over to her and cuddled up to her stomach.

While Jenna cuddled Jim and Meredith kept complaining as if she didn't have the biggest dilf on the planet, I ran through some final touches for the wedding silently.

"Has he invited Debby?" Jenna asked as she noticed my OCD about who was sitting where on the tables.

"Yep" I tried to find her name one of the tables to check who she was sat with.

"Are you okay with that?" I found her name and looked at the people she was sat with. She was sat with people from Josh's team whom he liked and their wives.

"Yep" I decided to leave her name where it was, it wasn't as if I had put her with horrible people after all.

"When was the last time either of you saw her?" I had spent a long time not thinking about her, I always thought she was a nice person, just that Josh was stupid. I knew she meant no harm even though that's all she caused.

"Josh had lunch with her a couple weeks ago to invite her to the wedding, but other than that nothing." I shrugged, I put the table arrangements away and flipped through my book of plans and ticked off what had been done and what hadn't.

"That's good, fingers crossed she doesn't stand up and object your marriage" it was a joke but I gave her a death glare. She dropped her smile quietly but it clearly amused her.

"Everything's ready for next week" I put away the book and grinned at her.

"Is Aaron coming" she placed a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, avoiding eye contact.

"No, I wanted to invite him but he makes Josh all tense. I think it would be better for everyone if he didn't come" I explained. Jenna's eyebrows raised as I spoke.

"You're letting him bring Debby but he's not letting you bring Aaron. Surely you should say both or nothing" she waved her spoon around in shock. My eyebrows tied together, she was right.

"I'll talk to him when he gets home" I shrugged. "Have you thought of any names for baby Joseph yet?"

"If it's a boy Tyler really wants it to be called Josh or at least a middle name but I don't know" she stroked Jim on her lap.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief. I couldn't believe Tyler wanted that, that was so cute.

"Yeah, no offence to Josh but that's a big commitment you know? I love Josh, you know that but naming my child Josh...I just don't know" she assumed I would be offended by this but I totally got it, I wouldn't name my child Tyler.

"No no I get it but i think the middle name idea is so cute" it was hard to imagine Jenna with a child, I still couldn't believe she was pregnant. Obviously she will be an amazing mother but still she will always be that girl who got wasted at a strip club and tried to join in the dance.

"Ok but then it seems only fair that you name yours Tyler" she raised her eyebrows.

"Middle name" I said bluntly which made her laugh hard.

"See!" She laughed. "I wish you were pregnant so they could be friends" she rubbed her belly while Jim watched.

"Maybe your second baby, Jim can be friends with this one. He already seems obsessed" we watched as Jim couldn't take his eyes off Jenna as she rubbed her tummy.

"Dogs have that sixth sense you know, I think parrots have it as well" I burst out laughing. Jenna let out a gasp and held my arm.

"Did you hear about Jess?" She gossiped. Jess and Bobby had been having...issues recently. Even though to others they always seemed so loved up, they never seemed to spend any time together. Bobby had his hobbies and she had hers, they would go to bed together at the end of the day as if they had no where else to go. They lived completely separate lives.

"Yeah, she's being very quiet about it. I've seen her quite a few times since the rumours popped up and she hasn't bought it up" everyone assumed they were getting a divorce and with Bobby going on tour soon, I wouldn't be surprised.

"She's still young, she could always find someone else" Jenna shrugged but then she gasped again. "Would you be out of the job?"

"I don't know, I love working for her but I guess I wouldn't be that distraught if I had to stop. It's not like Josh and I are desperate for the money" i shrugged.

"Maybe you could do something else, like start your own make up line or work for a pre existing one" she suggested. I had always wanted my own make up line, Josh had tried to get me to do it when we first came back from tour but I felt weird about it. Then we broke up and the topic went away.

"I actually have ideas for a make up line but I don't know if I could do it" i bit my lip.

"You have to! You would be fantastic! I would use your make up everyday!" She squealed.

"Yes but you're my best friend" I laughed.

"That reminds me, when's Lillie coming to town. She's your maid of honour right? Shouldn't she be planning a bachelorette party or something?"

"Oh no no, I'm not having a bachelorette party, I hate them." I wrinkled my face in disgust.

"Ok then what about doing a girlie sleepover like we did a while back. You never know, Jess might spill" she giggled.

"Yeah I guess we could do that. Lillie's supposed to be coming in a few days so I could arrange something" I agreed.

"Yay! To think, last time you weren't engaged, I wasn't pregnant and Jess still had a husband!" She giggled. I hit her playfully on the arm and laughed.

"Stop it, that's so mean" we were both laughing at her cruelty but I was just happy to be around Jenna.