Expressing Thoughts-J.D

-72-

"The baby is the size of a grape." Josh said matter of factly as he read a baby book over my stomach. "It can't do much right now though." He added which made me laugh.

"What are you expecting? It's a grape not a toy." I giggled. My top was rolled up so my stomach was out as I laid on the bed, Josh balanced a book on my stomach and once in a while kissed it.

"I know. I can't wait until it can hear us or it starts kicking." He grinned as he flipped through the book.

"Let me guess, you're gonna play it twenty one pilots." I joked but he just nodded seriously in reply.

"Maybe only the instrumentals so he can really hear the drums." Josh and surprised me with how full on he was about all of this.

"I'm sorry, he?" I snorted, it was very clear Josh wanted a miniature version of himself.

"Is it bad that I want a boy? I mean, it will most likely get on better with Ollie if it's a boy. Ollie's only gonna be like a year older than him." He explained, I raise my eyebrows.

"Shit, we need to buy Ollie a gift for his first birthday." I stressed, not having anything in mind even though it's a week away.

"We are giving him the gift of an automatic best friend. He doesn't need anything else." Josh replied, I rolled my eyes.

"Joshua." I scolded him, he grinned back.

"You're gonna be so good at telling him off." He started to crawl towards me but I just shook my head.

"Stop calling it a he, you're tempting fate and I want fate to have an equal shot here." I grabbed his face with one hand as he hovered over me. I gave him a quick kiss then rolled off the bed.

"Where are you going? We still need to pack for tour." He called after me. I just ignored him and made my way to the bathroom that wasn't in our bedroom.

I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself. My hands ran along my stomach, I turned to the side where a bump was forming. It had only just hit me how big I was going to get and I wasn't sure what to do.

"Sage?" Josh called as he walked out of our bedroom. He noticed me from the open door, looking at myself and holding my stomach in the mirror and smiled. "You're gonna glow babe." He snaked his arms around my stomach and rested them over my belly button. I leant my head back and closed my eyes.

"Still gonna be fat." I pointed out. He kissed from behind my ear down to my shoulder, his arms refused to move from my waist.

"You're still going to be beautiful." He whispered. I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to let me have a doubt in my mind about this.

"I wish you were the pregnant one, then I wouldn't have all these negative thoughts." I said quietly, he picked me up and placed me on the counter top of the bathroom. He tucked my hair behind both ears and leant down so he was my height.

"What negative thoughts?" He asked. I wrapped my legs around the back of his thighs and pulled him closer.

"Just everything that can go wrong. I've got emotionally attached now. And I'll never have that figure again or the life we used to live. It's all going to change so much." I confessed, Josh gave me a sympathetic smile.

"It's okay baby. Yes it'll be different but you will love it so much more." He tried to convince me but the truth was that, whether or not I voiced them, I had doubts about being a mother and having children. It was completely terrifying.

Josh smiled at me his beautiful smile and leant down to kiss me. His hands roamed my legs while they gripped his hips. My head hit the mirror, causing me to giggle into the kiss.