Expressing Thoughts-J.D

-52-

"Sister sister!" Brendon yelled as he opened his front door. Jim sprinted towards Penny and Bogart while I hugged my big brother.

"Hey there Beebs" I kissed his cheek and walked inside his house.

"Sage, it's been too long" Sarah hugged me tightly, I shook her from side to side and soaked up the sister love.

"Ugh I missed you." I felt like crying but then I just assumed it was the hormones.

"Sage, beer?" Brendon offered, I didn't know what to do. I wasn't meant to because of the whole pregnancy thing. I stood awkwardly for a moment before laughing slightly.

"Brendon it's ten in the morning. I'll have water" I laughed it off, he shrugged and pulled out a beer for himself and a bottle of water for me.

"When's Josh back?" Sarah asked as we sat on the couch. I took a sip of water.

"Ten days. He has like four more shows and a couple of interviews to do" I explained.

"You're not feeling weird, like you usually do?" She tried to tread round that I was a mess when Josh left but I shrugged. I had his baby inside of me so I always was with him sorta.

"Not really. I need to be able to be away from him and not have a break down" I replied. Brendon sat on the opposite couch and took a swig of his beer.

"So what's the new job?" He asked, I had completely forgotten about my interview in a couple of weeks with Benefit.

"Oh yeah, I'm going for an interview on the sixth but what they want is someone to collaborate with who has their own individual view and designs for the make up they want to make" I explained as best as I could. Brendon's face was blank while Sarah nodded.

"And you have your designs?" She pushed, I nodded.

"I have everything ready, I just need to put them into visual aids and make sure I know what I want to say" Jim started to bark at nothing so I got up and opened their back doors so he could run around.

"Do you wanna walk them later?" Brendon asked as I sat back down.

"Yeah sure, I haven't been on Santa Monica pier in ages. We should go there" I suggested and he nodded.

"I have to leave by one, I have to go and drop off some baby things for Meagan." Sarah checked her phone as she spoke.

"Oh yeah i heard she's having another one, lucky number three" I laughed, Brendon sighed.

"I could never have three, I can hardly handle two dogs" he rubbed his forehead as if it was happening to him.

"Pete can handle it though and plus I think this ones a girl so she'll have two brothers protecting her when Pete's not around" I thought about that cute little girl who was going to be so beautiful if Meagan was anything to go by, she was going to have an amazing life. I looked down at my stomach and prayed it was a girl.

"Don't worry Sage, you'll have babies soon enough. You have everything else, house, husband, dog and now you'll get this job and everything will be complete" Brendon grinned, I know he wanted to be the fun uncle and I wanted to tell him he was going to be the fun uncle but I needed to tell Josh first.

"I know. It's weird how when you want something like children everyone else starts popping them out" I laughed, I turned my head to Sarah. "Send her my love and tell her I am buying her girl a whole new wardrobe"

"That girl is going to be spoiled so much. I know Pete has always wanted a girl" Sarah grinned. Brendon let out a loud groan.

"Let's switch the subject, babies is all anyone talks about" he swung his bottle up into the air, he looked insane.

"That's because people our age usually have them Brendon" I laughed and Sarah joined in.

"I don't see you trying very hard Sage" he mocked me but I just rolled my eyes.

"It's kinda hard to try when your husband is in Colorado" I argued back. He stuck his tongue out which made me roll my eyes. No wonder he didn't have children, he still is a child.

"Anyway..." Sarah changed the subject quickly. "Have you heard anything recently from Jess?" She asked.

"I think she's avoiding me. It's gonna sound really bad but I just haven't had time to sit down and have a chat" I said honestly.

"I've talked to her, I just worry you know? I text her or call her once in a while" that made me feel even worse of a friend.

"I'm such a bad friend" I threw my head in my hands in shame but Sarah just shook her head.

"You've been busy, I'm sure she gets that. She's having a hard time at the moment though"

"No, I'm a bad friend. There's no excuse. She's alright though?" I did care about Jess obviously but if I had a minute to have a conversation that long with her I would call her. I just haven't had a minute.

"She's fine. She's going on holiday to Spain with some of her old friends soon. Sage, go and see her before she goes." She almost begs me.

"Of course I will. I have many days off from now on" I laughed.

"She's fine, she's going to use the divorce as an excuse to go on holidays and claim it's soul searching or some shit" Brendon threw his legs on the coffee table. I just laughed while Sarah looked offended.

"Brendon!" She gasped while I laughed loudly.

"Oh come on! You know its true. I like Jess, she's a good girl but come on that is not how you get over a divorce" he was being such a guy which made me roll my eyes. I don't think anyone has made me roll my eyes more than he has.

"Like you would know. You're the poster child for a happy marriage" I fought.

"If Sarah and I got divorced, god forbid you know I love you babe, I wouldn't go jet setting around the world I would be in bed crying my eyes out until I was ready to face the world and even then I would probably just write a bunch of songs about it" he shrugged.

"Well we know what Bren's gonna do if he runs out of ideas" Sarah joked.

"People take grief in different ways. She just needs fun I'm guessing to take her mind off it" Sarah nodded in agreement.

"De-ni-al" Brendon sang, I laughed again loudly.

"Shut up she's in pain" Sarah hushed him.

"Anyway sister, are you coming to Vegas in a few weeks to see dad for his birthday?" Brendon switched the subject again.

"Should be, Josh will be off for a month so we both should be able to make it" I nodded. Brendon smiled but then let out a loud groan.

"I miss Josh" he screamed, we both laughed. "I haven't seen him in ages" he continued.

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When I arrived home, I checked my calendar to see if I had a free day to go to see Jess. I pencilled in a day and reminded myself to call her. I sat on the floor and Jim came up to me for a cuddle.

"Oh Jim, don't you miss daddy?" I mumbled into his fur. "I miss him" I hugged Jim tightly.

I wandered up to my office and got my work gathered together to try and prepare for my interview. I knew what I wanted to do but I needed to get it out visually.

I spent the next few hours drawing up colour designs and label designs, making sure everything was perfect. By the end of it I really needed some food.

I went back into the kitchen and fed Jim, I gave him some fresh water and then went to make myself something. My mom bought me a cook book for a house warming gift so I decided to flick through that for some ideas.

It all came to me in a wave, a tremendous amount of pain shocked through me. I clutched my stomach area and let out a cry. Jim stopped eating his food and looked over at me. The pain passed but then I felt as if I'd wet myself, I looked down to see blood pouring down my leg. Then the pain came again, this time worse. I let out a whimper as I clutched my stomach again and held my stomach. I needed to go to the doctors.