Expressing Thoughts-J.D

-47-

Not long after the wedding, Josh and I were off on tour. I wasn't ecstatic about it but I vowed to support Josh in whatever he did and I was going to stick to that vow.

I had started to reach out to make up brands to see if I could work with them or for them. To be honest, I wanted a job badly and I would take anything.

"Back on the road with my wife" Josh's voice snapped me out of my thought. I turned my head to him to see that he was recording me, I hid my face as he laughed. "Whatcha doing?" He put his phone away and collapsed on the couch next to me. The couches on the tour bus were not comfortable but they did the job.

"E-mailing my butt off for a job" I grinned as I typed my seventh fifth letter. Josh grabbed my laptop and started to read what I had written, moments later he turned his head to me and smiled.

"They'd be stupid not to have you" I kissed him quickly before returning to my e-mail. Josh put his arm around me and texted next to me.

"What time are we getting there?" I asked, not looking up from my computer.

"Should be there in a few hours...so like six. We could go out for dinner" Josh suggested, I smiled to accept but then my head snapped up.

"What time is it now?" I asked even though I had a clock on my computer.

"Three" he answered, clearly very confused. I pushed my computer off my lap and stood up to go to my bag. "You alright?" He asked moments later.

"Yeah just gotta take my birth control" I yelled from the other side of the bus. There were groans and shh's from the bunks as other people slept.

"You still take your birth control?" Josh asked when I walked back into the main area.

"Uh, yeah. Is that a problem?" I raised my eyebrows, he just shrugged.

"I just thought that since we were married you wouldn't go to such extreme measures to not have a baby" he was being passive aggressive which I did not appreciate.

"Sorry I was not aware we were trying for a baby" I threw his passive aggressiveness back at him.

"I didn't say we were" he chucked it back.

"So why do you care that I am taking my birth control?" I waved my pills around in my hand dramatically as he sat in front of me.

"I thought that it wouldn't be so bad if you got pregnant so you wouldn't take them anymore and we would just keep using other protection" he shrugged. I couldn't believe that he was mad at me because I was still taking birth control.

"Josh, you have given me no indication that you want me to stop taking it so why are you getting mad at me?" I almost laughed at how stupid it was sounding.

"I'm not getting mad at you, I just don't understand why you are taking it when we could just use condoms." He shrugged calmly. There was a brief silence before I just let out a sigh.

"I am not arguing with you over what protection to use. The point is that we are not trying for a baby, you have given me no hint that you want one soon so why should I stop taking my birth control?" He stood up and snatched the pills off me which shocked me.

"Maybe we could have a happy accident baby" his tone perked up as he held my pills, i snatched them back and shook my head.

"we are not having a happy accident baby, you're going to be on tour for a long long time. I am not even taking the chance of having our baby alone" He reached out to take the pills but i moved the from his grasp.

"We are on tour now and Jenna is almost 7 months pregnant. In two months we are pausing the tour so she can have the baby and then a month after that we are going back on tour. We can do that" He suggested, I squinted my eyes in annoyance.

"I don't want that! Jenna is an absolute angel for doing that but i want you present for our children, at least for the first few months. That is why our children will be planned and not a happy accident." i argued, he sighed and shook his head.

"Let's just use condoms and whatever happens happens, any children with you were always going to be in my plan" he held my face and flashed me a cheeky smile. I rolled my eyes as his attempt to smile his way through this. I let out a sigh.

"Fine but you are going to be there for all of it if a happy accident happens" I held his face so he was paying attention, he grinned and nodded. He grabbed my face and kissed me.

"I love you and I will love all our happy accidents." He ran his hands down by body and onto my bum. "Do you wanna make a happy accident right now?" he mumbled against my neck, i let out a laugh and stroked his hair.

"I'm not making our happy accident on a tour bus" I laughed, he started to kiss my neck so i continued to stroke his hair.

"Everyone's asleep, come to my bunk and we can just lay" His breathe on my neck sent shivers down my spine. I just nodded, giving in to him since he made me wobble at the knees.

we went over to his bunk, i crawled in first and he followed quickly. It was pretty cramped so i put my back against the wall as Josh crawled in.

"This is not going to work" I giggled as he tried to take his shirt off but ended up head butting the ceiling.

"yes it is, come here" He pulled me closer to him and tried to roll me on top.

"Josh I can't move" I laughed, he sighed and laid me back down again. He tried to get on top but he had the same issue. I was laughing uncontrollably so he had to put his hand on my mouth.

"You have to be quiet" he was getting so frustrated in every way possible which made me laugh.

"Come 'ere" I laughed as he rolled off me. I pressed my body to his and ran a hand through his hair. I snaked an arm under his head so he laid on top of it. I kissed him softly while his hands roamed my body. Our kisses were loud but the moans coming from us when the other licked or bit our lips were louder.

"Guys" Tyler's voice chimes in as he yanked the curtain back. "Can you keep it in your pants until we get to the hotel?" He said tiredly.

"Josh wants to make babies!" Jenna teased from her bunk. Josh laughed while I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry Ty" I smiled at him before shutting the curtain again. I turned around to Josh and raised my eyebrows.

We laid in silence for a while, I played with Josh's hands while he stared at the ceiling. He had such big hands, they were like he size of my face. I rolled to my side and ran my leg up and down Josh's.

"When are we going on our honeymoon?" I asked out of no where.

"After tour?" He turned his head to me while we both stared at each other.

"Can we not have a baby until after we go on our honeymoon. I'm afraid we will never be able to after the whole baby making begins" I stroked his cheek so he wouldn't freak out.

"Okay, you can keep taking your birth control if you want to. I just got worried you weren't thinking about babies" he closed his eyes as I stroked him.

"I'm always thinking about our babies. What they will look like, if they'll be good at the drums. Whether they'll be smart or funny or the complete opposite to both of us."

"Imagine if we raised a doctor, how cool would that be" he laughed.

"I wouldn't know what to do, it would be smarter than both of us"

"Good ol' Jishwina" he joked and both of us burst out laughing.

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I've got a good ol' plan for you...