I Ain't Having It

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Needless to say, I had a restless night of sleep after enduring Staveno's rage. I couldn't understand it, I'd never had him treat me so disrespectful, so harsh and mean. Never had he placed his hands on me in such a way as he did last night. Never had he allowed his men to man handle me.

I never felt more betrayed by him as I did right now. I saw a side of him last night that I didn't know existed. The man I loved turned into a complete stranger before my very eye's. Suddenly I felt like a pawn in his world, just another thing that he owned and controlled. I was no more than a piece of furniture to him. I even wondered if I was only here to produce his child, his very own baby making machine. One thing's for sure though, my feelings have changed drastically toward him. I no longer saw him as my best friend, my safety net, my shoulder to lean on. I didn't even feel safe with him or protected. But what hurt the most was his lies and connection to Magna that seemed deeper than I first thought. Then to here him actually tell me that she would be a permanent fixture in my life was too much. I don't deserve this, not after all I've given up to be with him, after knowing what he was but pushing my reservations aside because I love him.

It was now Sunday morning and the sun had been up for awhile now. I hadn't planned on working today but I didn't want to be near him either. I knew he had placed men outside my door last night, I could hear him barking the orders. I cracked the door open and asked. "Where is he at?" Not wanting to even say his name.

They informed me that he was in his office. I slipped pass but was stopped. "I'm going to my room to shower and change asshole's". I snapped and was allowed by.

I rushed through my bath and grabbed as much of my belongings as possible to relocate to the spare room I would be staying in. I told the guard's to prepare a car for me that I would be reporting to work shortly. Not feeling the urge to doll up, I slid into a pair of yoga pants, t-shirt and and tossed an oversized sweater throw over me. I slipped into my cons and grabbed my bag. Thankfully I made it out with no run ins.

Before I entered my building I strolled to the nearby breakfast shop with the men on my heels. Flipping around I snapped. "Could you back up a bit, give me space. Geez, like my pregnant ass is really going to run".

I ordered me a blueberry scone and a large caffeinated coffee. Since my pregnancy Staveno has made me kick the caffeine but today my soul needed it. Not to mention I felt like a little rebel for not obeying him. I took a seat out in the warm sun and slowly enjoyed my breakfast hoping I was irritating his men. Finally, I tossed my trash and refilled my coffee before heading back to my building. There was really not much to do so I proofread a few article's, signed off on some papers and gave my okay to a few photo shoots. For lunch I just ordered in and jotted down future topic idea's for upcoming issue's. Having nothing else to do I gave into my sleepiness. Getting up from behind my desk, I went and stretched out on my couch. In seconds I was snoring.

I don't know what time it was when I awoke but my office was filled with darkness. Sitting up, I gave a lengthy stretch the stumbled my way through the darkness to turn my desk lamp on.  The light hurt my eye's as I fumbled to gather my thing's to head home. As I turned to go a figure sitting in the corner chair caught my eye and I gasped. "You can't sleep at home anymore love?" Staveno said coldly.

"I didn't rest well last night and meant to only take a short nap". I said going toward my door.

Staveno was on his feet in an instant and grabbed me by my arm. "Let me go". I hissed jerking free from his grip.

"You can't avoid me love. What happened last night you brought upon yourself". He stated.

That just pushed my big red button and I jumped up into his face. "No you brought it upon me with your lies."

"Lies?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes lies". I snarled. "First you didn't tell me about yours and Magna's little bedroom activities. Then you promise to stay away only for me to catch you with her every time I turn around. Now I've learned that she work's for you and just like you said isn't going anywhere. One would believe that you two still have a spark. Always smiling, laughing, her touching your arm. It's sickening and I don't have to tolerate it. In fact I'm not.". I said making a sudden, hasty decision.

"You can sale the magazine or do whatever you like with it. Hell give it to your precious Magna for all I care. I will be returning home soon and I dare you to stop me". I said sternly with my mind made up.

That comment really got an reaction from him. "You're not going anywhere love, ever. Not with my child anyways".

"Ha. You mean the child I'm giving you. The child I chose to have because I loved you so? Only for you to tell me you can't give up your side chick because she's so good at her job? You have made this pregnancy horrible for me. I was already scared enough to do this but I thought I'd at least have you in my corner. Boy, was I wrong".

I didn't stay to hear anymore of his excuses or demands. I walked out and had his men take me home. I walked into the house and passed by the living room. I spotted several of his men waiting on Staveno and amongst them was Magna. Never had I felt so estranged in his home and that's when it hit me.... this wasn't my home nor was he completely mine.

Walking on to my room I slipped into my bathing suit along with a warm cover up and went to sit on the star lit beach. I was feeling a bit of discomfort in my lower back and really just needed to relax.

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