Alone in a World of People

100 7 1
                                    

   A week has passed since Adam's secret had been spilled. He and Violet are still not on speaking terms, neither are me and them. The loving group that had formed years ago was now bitter and awful, and it's all because of me.

   I walk along a faded path through the woods thinking about what has happened in just a course of a month. Charlie and my relationship has grown, but every other relationship has fallen about. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Am I the one to blame for everything falling apart?

   My blood turns cold and I hug my arms close to my chest. My fingertips stroke over an old scar that I had given myself years ago. My heart beats so hard I can hear it in my ears and my whole body begins to feel numb. Thoughts of my screwed up life from before come back to mind. I can remember the voices, clear as day as they spoke to me, coaxed me into all the scars on my body. How broken and shattered I was, and my heart sinks into my stomach.

   You haven't changed since then. You are the same scared little girl. No one will love you, look what you did to all your friendships? Do you really wanna do that to Charlie too? Shouldn't you protect him from yourself? Remember how it felt after you did it? The blood just oozing out and the burning sensation? Just one time.... it's not gonna kill ya..... my mind whispers it and I squeeze my eyes shut letting the thought pass by. It's soon gone and I continue on my little journey. I find myself listening to the laps of waves and follow it in a daze. The air of the night is chilly and the hairs on my neck stand up.

   "I cleaned up my act for a reason, I'm not going back to old habits now!" I mutter and step past a tree. My heart throbs as I turn my head upwards and look towards the sky. It's completely empty except for the shimmering moon and a distant star. I kinda feel like that star. It's a little dim and far away, no one wants to be around it. Maybe I don't just feel like it. Maybe I am the star... I turn my head to the ground and continue on walking.

   Stepping out of the trees onto the sandy bay, I look out to see a body leaning over towards the lake. I stop and squat down watching them quietly. They mutter to themselves and something glimmers in the moonlight, a razor blade. It goes to strike against their skin and I jump from the bushes quickly.

   "Stop!" I shout and the person turns dropping the razor blade and my eyes widen. "Dean...." I whisper and he stares at me, his hip exposed showing all the cuts down the side.

•*•*•

   I stare at him, and he stares back, the air between us is brittle. My eyes go from the blade  on the ground, to his hip that is covered with scars. I take a step towards him and he quickly go to cover his hip.

   "I already saw it." I state and he freezes as I reach down and pick up the blade. My heart pounds holding it in my hand and I quickly toss it into the water. Then, I turn to Dean. "What are you doing?" He stays quiet and I sit down and clear my throat. "Show me." He looks up and I glare hard at him. He slowly turns slightly and exposes his hip once more. About 70 cuts line his hip and I sit back in awe as he shows his other one which is covered in even more. "Why?"

   "Why does anyone do it?" He asks and fixes his shorts and stares into the water. "Things just kinda happen Drew."

   "Not these things!" I bark and he sits there. "Tell me what's going on, or I go to Kenny and Tina."

   "You wouldn't dare." He says and I narrow my gaze.

   "Try me." I state and he takes a deep breath before looking into the water.

   "When we got back from camp that one year you were here. Everyone found out that Charlie had talent, and well, they all knew he was better than me so he eventually became lead singer. Honestly I didn't want that at all, and no it's not because I'm selfish, it's because it changes people... it changed me, in a very bad way and I didn't want that to happen to Charlie....." He takes a breath and shakes his head before continuing. "He became well known, and I kinda got left in the shadows, I guess I deserve it from having all those years in the spotlight though.... I was okay, until people began to talk. I heard them saying things like, 'why was he ever lead' or 'why was he so selfish to hide Charlie' it didn't bother me much. Until the other things were being said... they got worse, people telling me to kill myself, and other terrible things. Then Charlie was changing, it affected everyone, and I began to blame myself. I cut myself once and it seemed to take the pain away... I've been doing it ever since..." He looks up at me as I watch his reflection in the water.

   "I know it's hard, but you can get through it." I state and he looks at my reflection. "Believe me, plus, I'll be here if you need me."

   "I thought you hated me." He mumbles and I shake my head as I smile slightly.

   "Not hardly, it was a..... bad night and I'm sorry for what I said." I mutter and he nods and I sigh slightly.

   "You need to apologize to Adam and Violet more so than me." He states and I groan as he chuckles. "I mean it."

   "How on earth am I going to do that? He won't even talk to me! Neither of them will..." I mumble and bury my head into my arms. "Am I seriously all alone here?"

   "You're not alone." Dean says and I look up to find him staring right at me. "I'm going to help you through this okay?"

   "But what if I-"

   "No buts! Either you're in, or you're not. What will it be?" He asks and I sighs slightly shaking his hand.

   "I'm in." I mutter and he nods as we begin discussing our plan.

   In the sky, the lone distant star shinning alone doesn't seem so dim anymore. Then I realized, the start was not longer alone.

•*•*•

Thanks so much for reading!!! I hope you all enjoyed! Please give it a vote comment add and or follow for more updates and more stories!!!! I love you all and see you later!!!

  

Camp Charming  Where stories live. Discover now