No Promises

|29| rumor has it

Odette's Pov

~Two days later~

"Dear diary

The last days are getting harder to wake up and leave the bedsheets. Reality is an awful play and sadly I have an important role in it.

Last night I had a night mare. I saw Harvey chasing me and it felt incredibly real. I woke up next to Shawn. I was sweaty and my heart was beating really fast. I started crying. I laid there helpless, hopeless and with the flashbacks hitting me like thunderstorms.

Shawn raised his arm and surrounded my shoulders with it bringing me closer to his body.

"Are you okay baby?" He whispered to me. I thought that he probably heard me sniffing my nose and he woke up. He stroke my hair and then he planted a kiss on the top of my head. I-"

"Hey Odette!" Camila entered the bedroom interrupting me. I quickly closed the diary and left it on the desk. "Hey is everything alright?" I asked. "Yeah I just wanted to goodnight you." She smiled. "Sure that's all?" I asked as she closed the bedroom door.

She walked closer to me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"The last days you've been really down Odette. And Shawn is really worried about you, he's really sad you won't talk to him about anything that is in your head. We all care but he cares way more." She said. I actually didn't know what to say. "Should I tell him to come inside? He really wants to talk." Camila asked and I just nodded.

"Come in!" Camila yelled. Shawn showed up just a second later and he hesitantly walked in the room.

"I'll leave you two alone." Camila said and got out of our bedroom.

Shawn walked over the chair I was sitting on and he sat on his knees looking into my eyes. "Baby please talk to me." He placed his hands on mine. I was so tempted to just tell him what Harvey happened. I needed to feel relieved and I just needed to be honest with him. But I didn't know what was it that was holding me back. I was too scared to tell him the truth. What if he didn't believe me? What if the truth would make things worse?

"I-I just feel really lonely lately. There's this sadness coming from inside me and I can't explain it." I ended up saying. I hate to lie to the person I love the most. "Isn't my presence enough to keep the loneliness away?" He asked me. "Its not your fault Shawn I swear." I said. "Then why are you sad baby?" He asked. "The problem is that I don't know. I don't know why I'm sad." I gave him the most complicated answer.

"What kind of boyfriend am I if can't make you happy?" He questioned. "Shawn our relationship is the only thing that keeps me alive." I said looking straight into his beautiful eyes. "Then why can't it keep you happy? Why can't I do that?" He asked again breaking my heart in two.

"You're doing the best you can Shawn. And I'm more than grateful for having you." I said. "I love you Odette." He said in a soft angelic tone. "I love you too Shawn, never forget that." I said before he leaned on and kissed my lips.

~Next Day~

School was getting too harsh to handle.

I couldn't concentrate easily. My grades were going downhill. I had everyone's eyes on me. And it was generally a painful experience.