No Promises

|40| living with the ghosts

Shawn's Pov

"Where did you find those?" Bradley asked after reading his letter. They all looked at each other waiting for my response.

"Odette wrote them before committing suicide and she left them on her bed." I said and my voice cracked.

"We killed a human being." Camila whispered as a tear trailed down her cheek. "Not you Camila. But I did. I killed Odette Conte." I whispered trying to hold my tears back.

Everyone remained quiet making me realise I was just speaking the truth.

Its only been two days since her death and reality has already become unbearable. Everything seems pointless without her. Waking up isn't the same, eating isn't the same without her, walking to school, going out, falling to bed isn't the same anymore.

I saw Harvey and his boys walking confidently in the hallway.

My facial expression got angrier and Camila noticed. "Shawn don't make a scene." She held my arm. I freed it from her and walked towards Harvey.

"You fucking rapist!" I yelled and pushed him against the lockers. "You fucking killed her!" I yelled again so loud catching everyone's attention.

"Killed who?" Harvey asked clueless about Odette's suicide. "Odette committed suicide! You fucking raped her and lead her to kill herself!" I yelled at his face. "You're joking. Tell me you're joking!" Harvey asked.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" I asked him taking out the letter Odette wrote for him. "Here! Read this!" I gave him the letter. "What is this?" He asked. "A letter she wrote for you before getting in her bathtub and cut her wrists to death." I told him and he started reading it.

"She's lying!" He yelled. "No I don't think she does! We all know what you fucking did to her!" I fired back.

"Listen Shawn. I'm sorry for your loss but you're acting a bit crazy mate. Okay we get it you loved her but don't act like you don't know her. We all know Odette was constantly lying about everything. She was just a whore that killed herself for attention. She always wanted to be the center of the world." Harvey said looking at me.

"Take that back." I said trying to fight my willingness to punch him in the face. "I'm just speaking the truth buddy." He said. "Oh you're so fucking dead." I said and immediately jumped on him as my hand found his face.

"Shawn!" I heard Ethan behind me probably wanting to stop me.

"You fucking raped my girlfriend!" I yelled when I was on top of Harvey and punching him. "She's dead Shawn get over it!" He yelled back making me stop and stare at him for a moment.

"Get off me asshole!" He pushed me away but I did nothing about it.

"Boys! What's going on here?" Mister Brown approached us in the hallway. "Why don't you ask Shawn? He keeps on attacking people for no reason and he accuses them for Odette's death." Harvey said standing up. "Shut the fuck up!" I yelled at him before I stood up as well.

"Shawn we're all devastated by the fact that Odette-" mister Brown began to talk but I stopped him. "Don't act like you care about her. Just don't." I said, grabbed my bag and I run out of the school building.

I got in my car and decided to drive to my yelling mountain. It was the only thing that would help me that moment and I knew it.

I got there after a while and I walked on the same path I did with Odette.

I couldn't help it and I let my tears drown my again. Everywhere I looked I see her. The flashbacks hit like thunderstorms. And its a feeling of pain I can't explain. A feeling of pain I can't put into words. Its impossible for me to do so.

I looked at the ocean and I yelled as loud as I could. I let out a scream like I've never done before. Not sure if it helped me but I did it anyways.

"Odette!" I yelled again so loud that even the fish in the sea could hear me.

I turned my head and there she was. She was standing a few feet away looking at me. "Odette?" I asked and curious as I was I approached her.

"Shawn." She whispered my name and I got chills to the sound of it. "Are you real?" I asked trying to touch her. "I'm real in here." She approached my chest and her delicate fingers almost touched my heart.

"Why did you leave me alone Odette?" I asked her as for a moment I truly believed she was real. "Because I was already alone Shawn." She said before I started crying.

"I'm sorry." I cried out but she didn't say a word. She stood there looking at me with her beautiful ocean blue eyes.

"I love you Odette." I said. "I would do anything to have you back. I would give everything to be able to touch you, and kiss you again, to hug you and smell your sweet odor. I would do whatever it takes to reverse time, and protect you like I promised." I told her while she was staring into my eyes.

"Why didn't you say this to me while I was alive Shawn?" She asked and in that moment I swear I heard my heart breaking into millions of pieces.

"I'm sorry Odette I'm sorry." I started crying louder. "I'm so fucking sorry." I tried to grab her hand but she pulled it away. "Remember, you can't touch me." She said.

"You're so beautiful." I told her. "It doesn't matter anymore." She said. "I know. But to me you'll forever be the most beautiful girl in the world." I reassured her and she smiled. "I miss you baby." I added.

"I love you Shawn never forget that." She said. "If you loved me why would you leave me?" I asked her. "You were the one that left me first." She reminded me, and she was right.

"I'm sorry Odette. I'm sorry for everything." I started crying again while watching her walking away from me.

"Shawn!" I heard a male voice calling my name and a second later Ethan pulled me back from the edge of the cliff.

"Who are you talking to Shawn?" He asked me confused. "Odette. She was right here." I told him. He looked around confused.

"I think you need some sleep buddy." He told me. "No I don't!" I yelled and pulled myself away from him.

"Odette is gone Ethan and you tell me to go to bed?" I asked him. "You can't continue living like that Shawn." He tried to approach me again. "I know. How can anybody live after that? Why am I even alive right now? What's the purpose of my existence?" I questioned approaching the cliff again.

"Shawn be careful there." Ethan told me since he was scared.

"Why? Because I might fall down and die? So what?" I asked him. "Shawn don't say that please!" Ethan yelled.

"I don't wanna live with this Ethan! I don't know how to live with this. I don't wanna live without Odette." I said sobbing. I fell on my knees incapable of doing anything.

Ethan pulled me away from the edge.

"We'll go through it together Shawn." He told me as I leaned on to his shoulder and cried there.

"Its all too much. The pain is too much." I said. "I know. But you're not alone." He said.

I know Ethan was trying to help me but it didn't actually work. The pain was eating me alive and I knew it would be like that till the day I die.

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Hellooo

I'm soooo sorry it took me forever to update but I was on vacation and I had limited time to actually sit down and get a chapter together.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter don't forget to vote and comment down bellow!

💕 TILL NEXT TIME💕