like him ; sk hwang hyunjin

22

i want to be brave.

the last time i spoke chinese is,  when i failed my class at first grade.  it was my hardest time,  all i want is to play with other kids at playground,  and happily enjoying my youth of being small kids that didnt worry about anything except if their mum will yell them for getting their clothes dirty and other else. 

    but today,  looking at one clueless girl at the school area early in the morning, i didnt expected to actually use my simple chinese to her just because she looks like one. 

     “ ah,  no worries.  i can speak korean. ” she said that with a kind smile , at least she didnt mock me . the girl gave a really good vibe,  i wont mind to be friend with her,  thats why we ended up took our breakfast together.

    “ so,  are you a transfer student? the school dont always take new student at odd time in middle of the semester” i asked , out of curiosity.  she tilted her head cutely,  like she was thinking about something,  before nodding.

    “ i guess its like that. my older brother patient need more attention here,  and actually this school had someone i want to meet.” she answered,  before eating a spoonful of rice. 

    there is a silence between us before the bell rang.  i offered to bring her to the office as she probably didnt know anything about this school,  but she rejected it.  not harshly, she actually said sorry a few times,  saying that she bothered me,  but i didnt mind.  she is a nice girl and hanging out with her would be a good opportunity to make a new friend.

    “ i already called my friend to guide me.  i think you might know him,  he's pretty famous,  i checked this school portal before.. ”

    “ ailin? lets go? ” i know this voice.

     ailin did smiled toward the owner of the voice,  before leaving me hanging, for that boy.  i did turned,  and there she is, pulling the boy for a hug.

    and it is the hwang hyunjin. she pulled hwang hyunjin into hug,  she ran for him and he was someone that she mentioned before?

    there is someone i dying to meet.

     oh.  “ should we go now? ” he asked when ailin pulled away,  and i saw her nodded.  and then when she realized im still there,  she turned back to me.  “ do you want to come with us, jihae?”
    i shaked my head , and smiled. bitterly. “ oy jihae! ” i felt my collar being pulled by force,  with sudden voice calling me.  hyunjin look at me weirdly,  and ailin look shocked.

    “ han jisung? ” i muttered below my breath,  as i saw the squirrel alike boy face close to mine. what is his plan? 

     “ oh hey ailin,  its been a long time.  i guess you would be schooling here for a while?” he didnt answer me,  but putting his attention into ailin again.  ailin nodded, giving him small wave.  so everyone knew him?  maybe felix is,  too.

    “ did you guys have a plan?  if so,  i might have to break that this girl here has plan with me . its an overdue promise. ” he said, stealing a glance to me. 

    i never remember have making promise with han jisung.  this is new?

    “ ah,  its okay!  ah haera,  thats why you declining us? you had something with han? thats good —” ailin start to blabber something, before hyunjin stopped her with slight brush at her cheeks. 

     i swear i saw ailin blush a slight shade deeper,  her white skin show that. “ you had something there. ” he said , and my body felt tensed suddenly. 

    and probably the boy beside me knew that.  “ i guess we are running late . see you anytime guys.  ” he said bidding goodbye toward hyunjin and ailin,  pulled me to a small run,  before we stopped in front of convenience store.

    “ you got to buy me some ice-cream” my eyes rounded hearing that.is this what i promised to him?  i dont think so,  i never talked to—

   “ and if it wasnt that obvious yet, no this is really unplanned plan.  i just feel to save you. ” his word stunned me.

    so han jisung is actually saving me from awkwardness and the hurt feeling that somehow lingering in my heart,  seeing the situation before. 
“ i dont know what you talking about—”

     he pulled my necktie closer, closer to him and stare me with his brown iris . “ are you implying that im dumb? i can read situation, not that im crowned first at school for being dumb,  ma jihae. ” he whispered,  before letting my necktie away,  leaving me stumbling on my feet.

    we had our own silence before i walked to the convenience store , taking what i thought would be on his liking,  and hand him that. 

    the weather is sunny, and im glad im here eating some ice confectionery. it heals a lot. 

   “ there is few tricks and tips you need to know,  to actually hide your feelings well.  but sometimes its cost something.. ” his tone slightly down when he spoke that,  but i just answered what,  out of curiosity.

    “ when you hide your feelings,  you will get more sleepless night,  count yourself a walking sheep.  when you feel want to cry,  do a handstand . its so your tears wont fall ”

     “ most importantly,  first you need to be brave.  brave to acknowledge yourself.  thats,  what you are lacking in the first place. ” he concluded,  as he threw away his icecream plastic. 

    “ i had my calculus class in five minutes. you'll be fine walking alone right? ” he said,  trying to tie his shoes. i didnt have to say my answer,  but he already disappeared , like he always do.

    so the trickster of the school has a golden heart,  and thats nice to know. more nice to actually know my problems,  that i would figured out later.

    maybe i have to be brave.

     —🌻

-inserted lei's reference from meteor garden!  had my midsem holiday,  so here an update !