[ i wrote this when i am younger, so yes - i do agree this one is very confusing! i havent edited the chapters sooooo read with this caution in your mind !]
" if he is that arrogant, how come i can easily meet his smile? "
1 of universe to realize...
“ you didnt lose everyone. we are here for you, maybe you just need to open that door. ”
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ma jihae
how i wished i was good in talking to people, to let them feel better. i feel useless at this kind of time. i want to talk, but at this time, where the heart is weak, i wonder if anything i would say change something.
but words are like sword, and i wouldnt want people to thought wrongly of my good attention, and words are actually why i became distant with some people . so i didnt.
i didnt talk to jisung. i just let him bring me wherever he want to, and i dont even question him.
because i believe, the broken heart nead healing, and sometimes we run because we need to. not because we are afraid.
weird, thats remind me of something , but i couldnt remember.
we both arrived at some place where jisung finally let go of my hand, and both of us sit down. looking up at the sky, silence greeted us. it is weird not to hear his voice. he always speak. not that i dont cherish silence anymore, but i prefer the talkative jisung rather than the quiet one.
its bothering to know how sad he are to became this quiet.
“ hey, jihae. ” he called me out of blue, shaking in his voice. i mumbled yes, still not staring at him, worrying that he might find it is uncomfortable.
“ do you ever feel like you want to kill yourself? ”
i didnt expect that.
“ sure, there is a time. ” i could see from the corner of ny eyes, he staring at me , suprised. he stared at me as if i was saying something that shocking.
“ you dont look like that, ma jihae. ”
i chuckled. “ there is point where i just want to stop. i lost all my persons in one day. and i feel so bad that i dont even done anything yet to make them proud, and instead.. i just left nothing for them to remember.”
i held my breath. “ but i was lucky enough to realize , that there is still things i have that would make me going. maybe stronger than before. ”
“ what is it? ” he asked , his voice toned down slightly . i smiled , before i gathered my courage.
i kneeled before him, pulling his hand closer to me . our eyes met, and i smiled even wider.
“ you didnt lose everything. we are still here. they are still here for you. you just need to open your door a bit, let us enter. ”
“ most importantly, why give up on yourself when God dont give up on you? ”
and he finally smiling. there is it, the beautiful smile that i cherished.
— 🌸 han jisung
felix lee 🐶
just turn right from the bustop and then you will find the blue house im here, just ring the button
sure. we arrrived anyway. open up , jikseu.
“ welcome home —” he look shocked when he saw the girl that dozed up at my back. she eventually sleep on our way home, that i decided to piggyback her, resulting a look from everyone at the bus.
she done a little tantrum, but she is cute so forgiven.
“ where is her room? ” i asked. felix looking at me weirdly before muttering “ whoah whoah, hang on. ”
“ i dont think i could hold her anymore, lee felix. let just end this faster. ” i spoke, literally rolling my eyes. he laughed, before pointing at jihae room.
i let the girl lie down at her bed, before fixing her blanket up and her pillows. i put down her headband off, and fix her hair so she didnt woke up because she was irritated.
what next?
i stared at her sleeping state a bit, comparing to her face when she pulled my hand before. we are only two inch close before , yet she look so good. and..
when she sleep, she look so peaceful, even when i already experienced her tantrum. even when her eyes didnt sparkle, even when she let out a soft snore..
she still pretty. and mesmerizing.
i didnt know what happened when i realized that i am now, closer to her face, until at the state where if she moved, our lips will touch.
should i or should i not? but i decided not to, and instead, i pressed my lips softly at her forehead, wishing that i could took my decision back. maybe, just maybe it wouldnt be the last kiss i do, maybe if you woke up and fall for me, it wouldnt be a secret memory that only i knew.
before i shut the light off, i remembered seeing her stirred off a but, mumbling some things, slow but i could catch it.
i smile. “ hey han jisung. i wish all happiness will come to you. because you dont suit frowning , you wear the smile better than anyone else. ”
damn , ma jihae. you making it harder for me not to fall for you deeper.
—🌸
“ so... did jihae came home safely? ”
“ she did. now she safely sleeping at her own bed, probably dreaming about good things. ”
“good to hear that.. ”
“ hey hyunjin , can i ask you something? ”
“do you.. still have anything for jihae? i mean, i can sense tense between you guys.. ”
“ i do. but.. im letting her to think, giving her time..you know, things..”
“alright, then.. but dont take too much time, yeah. ”
“ what do you mean, felix? ”
“ not that im taking any sides.. but jihae might fall for someone else , hwang. ”
— 🌸
yeay, an update! i was so happy because there are many new readers for this fic, and thankyou for all votes and comments each of you gave! i appreciate everything, especially you guys hilarious comment.
really sorry i couldnt reply to anythinh because i have too much classes to attend (why i was updating at 1 in the morning) so as gratitude, i updated this one earlier!
hrm.. maybe you guys could expect another more update for the weekend?
and as always, thankyou for the vote and comment. are you guys team #hyunji or #haesung? or maybe #jilix? 😂
