If You Only Knew... [completed]

Five

 Hey or I should say good morning..

 It's 4 am, no I didn't wake up early, I just didn't sleep and I'm getting bored laying here in my bed thinking of you, you, the one I'll never have.

  I say I'll never have you but to be honest I still have some expectence for something between us.

  Yesterday, when you came to pick me up, despide my makeup you saw that I cried, you didn't say anything but I saw that it affected you, or maybe I dreamed of it. When we got out of the car, you opened the door for me and you held out your arm so I could grab it, that's what I did.

  That maybe meant nothing to you, you may have done it just to be a gentleman but it meant so much for me, it was enough to make me smile again, enough to make all the pain I was feeling fade away.

  And the best part of the soiree was when the two men asked you who I was, you answered :" she is my wife".

  Oh my god! I was so so happy! at that moment I could say that I was the happiest person in the world.

  What if I was your wife in reality?? At that moment I'll be the happiest living being in all the galaxy, happier than a mother  just who had the most perfect baby with her true love whom is her husbend  and won a billion dollars. And if what happens to that mother happens to me then I'll just die in happiness, it'll be bad luck! won't it?!!

 Whatever...

 This dinner was the best I had in my entire life! those men didn't stop complimenting me, they said that you were lucky to have me, that I was beautiful and that you should take care of me.. It was so perfect! And you were nodding sign that you agreed and I was feeling so much glee, jocosity and delight. I wanted to get up of my chair and make my happy dance!

 But, cause there's always a but, all the magic faded away when we were alone again, you know what you did, I don't have to say it... You know how you did it this time? It was by saying: " couldn't you stop smiling stupidely all the time?? it was embarrassing pff... If you didn't get it yet, none of what happend tonight was real so please stop doing what you're doing and you know what I am talking about.. Stop before it gets worst".

  You wishpered the last sentence like you were talking to yourself, what do you mean? I thought about it all night long, then I remembered yesterday when you said " she was right". Was she a refference to your girlfriend? Did she disscovered I had feelings for you and told you about it? This might be possible, I mean, did you notice that I can't take my eyes of you? It's so obvious that I'm crazy in love with you! I'll try to be more careful from now on, I don't want to have that crazy witch bullying me because of that.

  I'm fine with it, I'll deal with it, I'll love you from far away. Like a wise m&n once said: It's better to love and suffer from it than not to love at all.