If You Only Knew... [completed]

Fifteen

  Hey,

 I didn't let Zack sleep at home, he said he wanted too, as a friend, he assured. I trust him but I didn't let him stay.

 You know, I never let a boy sleep at home before and a boy never came to my room. I want you to be the first!

 I like Zack, he's so nice, respectful, funny, smart. He's amazing.

  While falling asleep, I thought of him as something more than a friend and I said why not?!  If you have someone in you're life with whom you're happy, maybe I could do the same. That's what I told myself first. But then, I remembered her with an other man and I started imagining you knowing the truth, it was awful, you were so damn broken, sad, your eyes were bloodshot, they described perfectly how sorrowful you were, you weren't crying, you never do but it was just as if you spent  a week of no-stop tears, you were wan, it was like you didn't eat for so long. 

   I woke up from this nightmare in the middle of the night,now, when I'm actually writing, and I realized that seeing you hurt that much, seeing you down made me feel blue, my heart was aching me like never before. That proves how much I despairly love you and I can't forget you just by being with someone else, even if this person is as wonderful as Zack.

    I can clearly say that my life sucks!