If You Only Knew... [completed]

Eighteen

 Hey, 

  I failed, I couldn't do what I planned to do. In other words, I couldn't protect you.

  I feel useless, how can I say that I love you that much when I can't even spare you from living a true nightmare! If we think about it a little, I am the cause of that!

   If I fell silent, if I didn't bring that damned picture maybe you'd still have that little smirk that makes you look proud and snooty, you'd still have that aura of superiority that fits you so much, the same aura which makes people respect you, the same one which shows how confident you are about yourself.

  Instead of seeing that smirk and feeling that aura, I had a different man in front of me, but not the one I expected. I thought you'd be sad, that your face would be decomposed, that pain would be clearly shown in your eyes, just like in my nightmare. But you weren't, instead I saw an anger that made me fear you.

     Remember back then in high shcool, when almost all of'em feared you cause you were so cold and your gazes were so dark, as if they were full of hate. I remember that all the girls, even if they feared you too, fell for you, they found you so attractive, not that you wren't or aren't, you still are so geourgous but that's not the point... I just mean that that's not what made me fall for you, I was attracted by your eyes, I wanted to know the secret they held, so I started talking to you, I don't know why but you never humiliated me, you did sometimes with some girls, you were listening to my crazy annoying stories and you never told me to shut up cause I was borring you, people usually did that to me back then, sometimes it hurted me more that it should've. But you, you always listened to me, you were acting like you weren't paying attention, but I knew you were, I knew it by your facial expressions, sometimes you shook your head, you smiled, you frowned or you sent me dead looks, I remember that you did that when it comes to some boys and girls who were mean to me.

  Those dead looks you sent me back in the days were nothing compered with the one I saw today, I thought that you'd literally kill me!

  You saw the pic, it's my fault, while talking to Nicole I let it on my desk, when she started yelling that I was blackmiling her and also denying the facts I exposed, you came and saw it, you looked at me with that terrifaying gaze. I wanted to explain, but I couldn't, I was so scared, I never feared you but today I did, I couldn't even support your look, I was literally petrified. She saw it and told you whatever she wanted to say, she told you that I was liying, that it's a photoshop mounting, that I made it to separate you for a reason that she didn't get. I wanted to defend myself but I couldn't raise my head, at that moment I was fighting my tears so they won't fall, I didn't want her to see me weak!

  You asked me to look at you, I was afraid so I didn't move, you came closer, grabbed my arm which made me shiver. The touch of your hand made me a little more confortable so I raised my head, you had that smirk again but I saw in your eyes something I can't explain.

   You said: " you're fired" with a calm tone, then you let go of me and left with you're girl.

   Guess who's back!!!

  I'll try to publish as soon as possible.

 LOVE

#Dalifanny#