Charley made it clear she didn't want to see me. The look in her eyes was nothing but disgust. I'll be disgusted too, especially with the person I am. I hurt people, I run away and I don't say the right goodbyes.
"Me and Jamie are traveling together, we're not bringing you two!" Justina calls out to Jest who plays with the minion toy he brought the child. Everyone's preparing to head over to Charley's baby shower. I would have loved to join, but I know I'm not invited. I stare at the "my mommy said don't put your lips on me" shirt I brought the child. Everyone knows it isn't Charley's child, but they're supporting the baby shower.
"Is Jax going?" Jest raises his eyebrows pervertedly. I don't know when and where he developed this crush on Jax, but it's weird.
"You do know she's married right?" Mike questions a bit worried about Jest. Yeah, he'll have to get use to that because sometimes Jest head isn't screwed on correctly.
"And has a kid, you sick bastard!" Justina calls out. Jest shrugs and continues to do what he's doing, which is being annoying.
"Cher, we're leaving!" Justina calls from the kitchen. I wave my hand and finish playing the game. I suck ass in 2k, madden and MLB, I really should just give up with playing. I smoke the rest of my joint and go to lay down in my old bedroom, but I see Mary vacuuming under my bed. She sees me and looks at me displeased. She holds up the small ziplock bag filled with a white substance.
"You've got to be kidding me Cher, are you seriously going down this path again?" I grunt out and snatch the bag.
"Why are you touching my things anyways?" I grunt out and shove it into my pocket.
"Cher Bethany Manson!"
"Yes Mary?"
"Why?" Is all she states in desperation. I shake my head at her.
"Please don't, not now-"
"Why are you going back down that road Cher!? You're 23 years old and you're throwing it down the drain, why? Because you and your girlfriend broke up?"
"No-that isn't the fucking reason!?" My mom holds these pleading eyes. She's trying her best to communicate and understand me.
"Then why?"
"Because!"
"Because what!? I didn't raise you like this,"
"No, you raised me to cross my legs when wearing a dress, comb my hair properly. To be attracted to boys, only boys! You taught me that being a girl was actually acting like one," I fire back.
"What are you gaining from this? Temporary isolation from the world, from your feelings? Mind you I said temporary, because that's all drugs do!"
"I'm fucking hurting and no one seems to be in my corner!" I yell out. Mother stops her judgmental glaring and throws on a sympathetic look.
"I've been hurting since I returned to this town a year ago. This place really puts me in a mood, it makes me feel as much as a fuck up than I already am. Im heartless and cold on the inside, I seem to always disappoint or leave behind the people I care about, for what Mary?"
"To hurt them, because I am a sick fuck, and no matter how many times I run away, I seem to always end up back here fucking something up. I am a toxic that can never be controlled, so I do this! And you're right, it can't stop anything because it's only temporary." I fling it into the garbage and watch my mothers facial expression.
"I'm sorry Cher. I haven't always been the best parent okay, but I tried my best Cher. I apologize for all the pain I've caused, all the things I stated that offended you, my actions toward you in your youth and for keeping your fathers death away from you. I may not have been there for you in the past 6 years, but I'm always here! I am your mother and I will forever be here, you understand that? I love you Cher, I never hated you, I never will, no matter how many times you've pissed me off or piss me off, I will forever love you." She states and I sit there staring at her. Tears forming in my eyes after my mother expresses her feelings. This is a mushy moment and I appreciate it. She walks towards me and embraces me in a tight hug.
"Please please please Cher, don't go back down that road, please. Just stay away from that stuff, and if you need to go back to rehabilitation, we can find you one in Denver, I'll make it my mission to find you the best one I can, I will be there through the journey with you this time, I promise," I nod against my mothers shoulder as more tears stream. This feeling of my mothers touch reunites the feeling I had towards her when I was an infant. I was innocent and clueless about things. I didn't have any hate in my heart towards the woman I called mother. I admired everything she could possibly do. My mother was my hero, along with my father. I think that goes for every child, at that young age, your parents couldn't do absolutely nothing wrong.
The warmth feels my heart again, and all the hate just disappears. I can no longer see my mom as the devil in a woman's form anymore.
"Cher-Cherry pop, lollipop, beautiful indeed. Carried you for 9 months, you grew from just a seed..." my mother begins to sing the melody she use to sing to me when I was 7. Her hands run against my hair as she holds me in her arms. I cringe at the song, but smile at my mothers beautiful voice. It may not be beautiful to some, but it is to me.
"Cherry pop—lollipop, oh loll-lollipop"
————-————
I figured Charley's baby shower should be wrapping up now. I know she said she didn't want to see me anymore, but I needed to give her my gift in person. With my hands stuffed into my pocket as the gift bag hangs around my wrist, I slowly enter the banquet hall. It's beautiful and well set up with white decorations instead of pink. I like that idea.
There's things going on left and right through the big room filled with joyous smiles and laughter. There's baby games happing to the left, and tables filled with people conversing to the right. The gift table is straight ahead. Charley walks over, communicating with a female. She smiles brightly at the girl. She looks happy. She looks stunning. Her yellow dress bringing out her brown complexion.
Her face is "beat", as I hear so often on the Internet, with beautiful makeup. I don't want to approach her, my body won't let me. She's happy, I know if she sees me she'll be disappointed. A woman rushes pass me. I take the card from out the gift bag.
"Excuse me miss, miss?" I call out. She turns to me and smiles.
"Yes dear?" She questions.
"Can you drop off this gift at the table over there?" I question. The woman eyes me confused but decides to take the bag any way and walk it towards the table. I quickly leave.
YOU ARE READING
A GIRL LIKE HER (Lesbian Story)
Romance22 year old Cher Manson has had a rough past, which is why at the age of 16, she tried escaping from a household where her identity wasn't accepted by her mother. Fast forward 6 years, she has to return back to her hometown (Brekenbridge, Denver) t...
