chapter thirty-six

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HEY GUYS REALLY QUICK: DO YOU THINK WE CAN GET 1K READS BY CHRISTMAS/ NEW YEARS? I THINK WE CAN!

Amber-

The nurse rubbed the cold jelly on my stomach. Kai held my hand. I looked at him. He looked at me calmly.

It wasn't that I didn't want this baby, I just wanted to wait for another baby when we actually planned for it.

The guy pulled the monitor away so we couldn't see.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask.

"I'm gonna get the doctor." He says.

Kai squeezes my hand.

My lady doctor walks in and takes a look. He then pulls up a chair and looks at us sympathetically.

He motorizes my chair to sit up. "It seems as if you were 7 weeks along. Your baby didn't make it. I'm so sorry." She pauses.

"I'll give you the medication." She says.

The ride home, I just stared out the window. "Maybe its a good thing." Kai says.

And maybe it was. But that was our baby that died. I was sad, but not depressed. I would've loved that baby with my whole heart, but I never would've thought we'd have a kid that soon.

3 years later

I was making everybody pancakes. They were all still sleeping, it was a Saturday. My little Dawson is now in kindergarten, and Zoe is in preschool. Dawson looks like his daddy, dirty blonde hair. Zoe has dark brown hair like mine. She is my little girl.

Dawson Benjamin loves to play violin. He's really good at it too. He's a basketball star, and his the starter on his team. He's only 5 though.

Zoe Sylvia has a big heart and loves to draw and dance. She's in ballet, and Kai and I call her our little ballerina. She is also taking piano lessons. She may not really know what's going on, but she's taking after Kai who can play really well. She is now 4.

Time goes by so fast. I remember Zoe's first Christmas at my mom's house. I remember Dawson's first Christmas too, when he was so little, and Kai and I weren't even married.

I go up stairs after the pancakes were done, and go to Dawson's room first. He's sound asleep. I sit on his bed and rub his shoulder.

"Time to get up buddy, I made pancakes." I say.

Being 34, you feel old yet young. I feel overwhelmed most of the time. My early twenties were my party years, then I turned 27 and decided to date Jeremiah.

Then I got pregnant by 28, with Kai's baby. Now I'm 34, with two kids and a wonderful husband. It's crazy how life works.

I then walk to Zoe's room, and kiss her soft cheek and tell her to get up. I do this every Saturday, so now the kids know what to do.

They run to our bedroom and jump on our bed. Kai gets up and tackles them. Then he takes my waist and pulls me into the mess.

"Hey, babe." He says.

He kisses me and the kids make a gross face. He then wraps his arms around me and lays me on the bed, still kissing me. The kids are laughing hard now.

I love Kai Benjamin Corbett.

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