Sunflower Feelings - Roger Taylor

𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙣

the following morning.

'Roger! Roger wake up!' i heard someone yell for me. i slowly opened my eyes and immediately a headache hit my head like a truck. i couldn't see anything and i had no idea where i was, but i could recognise the voice.

'what the fuck..?' i whispered to myself, and rubbed my eyes. 'Jill?' i asked, just to make sure the person was who i thought it would be, and i was right. 'yeah. have you gone crazy?!' she exclaimed. she sounded really mad and i have no idea what for, i don't even know how i got here and why i was on Jill's bed! how was i supposed to know if i had gone crazy or not, and if i was 'crazy' it would be her fault cause she's literally driving me crazy.

'what happened? why am i here?' i sat up, holding my head. 'you could have died!' she ignored me and kept on yelling. i was so confused.

'drugs?! Roger? do you have any idea how worried i was!' she said, and i heard her voice starting to shake. then it hit me.

'i'm sorry i-' i couldn't even finish when a tear rolled down from my eyes.

Jill sat down next to me and put her arm around me. 'i saw you in the streets in the middle of the night. you barely even understood who i was! i had to take you to my place since it was the closest. why?' she explained in a serious tone. i said nothing. 'if something isn't going well you can just tell me! are drugs and alcohol going to listen to you when you need someone? are they going to give you advice and give you a shoulder to cry on? no! so come on, what's wrong?' she continued.

'yeah well i'm falling in love with my best friend who's my other best friend's ex, and who has a boyfriend and who couldn't give a shit about me at this point.' i thought. but instead of being honest, i made stuff up 'i'm sorry i was just stressed about our new album and stuff.' i shrugged trying my best to act as fine as i could.

***

Jill had made me some breakfast and now we were sitting in the kitchen, i was eating and she was just looking at me. she was standing beside the counter. things were a bit weird between us, so both of us were as quiet as we could. i had finished my breakfast now and stood up and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, Jill still looking at me. i looked back at her, noticing at our bodies were really close and i knew i was just going to make things worse, but i had to, because i was stupid.

i put my hands on her waist and leaned my face closer to her and just started casually kissing her like it was nothing. and to my surprise, she didn't stop me, yet. we kept on kissing for a while and i even added tongue, but then suddenly, she pushed me away. 'what the hell Roger?' she yelled, like she just didn't kiss me back or anything. 'i have a boyfriend!' she added. 'well why didn't you stop me first! you saw it coming and you let me kiss you!' i pointed out. it was like she wanted me to do all kinds of stuff with her but she just tried her best to stay loyal to her boyfriend.

'we can't keep doing this. i had great times with you and you really are good, but i'm dating now. and we're nothing, except best friends. and Rog, i know what you are like, and you know damn well i don't want to be one of those girls you hook up with and then forget about.' she said in all honesty. little did she know she wasn't one of those girls.

i nodded. 'i have to go. see ya.' i said and walked out of the door. i just had to escape that awkward moment, but also the band had some recording to do so i had to head to the studio anyways. music always made me feel better, and making music was the best medicine to any pain. but of course today, we were going to continue recording a song called Killer Queen, which already reminded me of Jill. even though i knew freddie didn't write it about her i just couldn't help but think that it was. it sounded like it was about her, honestly, she had that same type of energy.

***

we had been in the studio for five hours straight now, and i must say i felt a lot better than i did before, even though i was so tired and hungry that i almost fell asleep on my drums every once in a while.

'roger would you please pay attention!' brian sighed. 'roger would you pleeease pay attention!' i repeated mockingly, that only made brian roll his eyes. i knew i was annoying, but i couldn't help it. soon we were arguing like and old married couple. i was about to throw my drumsticks at him when Freddie stepped in between us. 'children please! these no need to get agressive, okay? now, let's take a small break darlings.' he said with confidence.

it wasn't a surprise that Brian and i went off like that, it happened at least three times a week, but we were still really close and i did love him a lot. now that we had a small break, i decided to head out for a cigarette and maybe get some food. it was now hot outside and i was wearing the same sweaty clothes i did yesterday so it wasn't the best feeling ever, also for some reason i had taken my leather jacket, and it didn't help at all.

'Roger!' i heard someone yell from behind me as i started making my way down the street with a cigarette between my lips. i turned around to see Deaky running after me. i slowed down. 'what's up?' i asked. 'you going to eat something?' he asked and i nodded yes as an answer. 'cool, can i come with you?' he asked. 'sure.' i smiled, i knew something was up and there was a reason he wanted to come eat with me.