Sunflower Feelings - Roger Taylor

𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮'𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧

warning: implied smut.
A/N: also, not a warning but if you haven't noticed, most of the chapter titles are titles of a song, so you can always listen to it while reading. i usually use songs from the early 70s but this one is when the party's over by billie eilish. thanks for the reads and votes! i edited the titles little and stuff lol, hope you like. also sorry for the typos, i didn't read this.
enjoy.

Jill's pov.

"Roger do you wanna come over tonight after your gig?" i was laying on his bed reading a magazine, moving my toes to the beat of the music playing, while Roger was getting dressed. i couldn't help but stare at him as he took a white button up shirt and put it on, he left the buttons open like always, then he put on some jeans. i could have just jumped right at him, like i did last night, but i tried to control myself. it was great now that everybody knew, i could easily spend time with him in their flat, i didn't have to hide under his bed anymore. trust me, it was dusty down there. Brian still wasn't really okay with it, he was more mad at Roger than me so at least i was safe. i'm kidding.

"uhh.. i'm not sure. i'm maybe a bit busy." he muttered. he was never busy.

"pleease. i could wear that dress you like, OR i could wear nothing." i smirked giggling. he didn't even turn his head to look at me.

"sorry Jill, i'd love to but i really can't."

"what do i not know about?" i blurted out.

"what are you talking about?" he stopped doing whatever he was doing.

"two days ago, when Brian found out about us, he said he doubts i know about something, but you cut him off." i sat up and put the magazine away. "what do i not know about?" i repeated.

"sorry, love. i don't remember that." he shrugged, then got up and walked over to me. i opened my mouth to say something -probably something serious and dramatic- but he knew what was coming and pressed a kiss on my open lips. then another kiss, another and another... it's like he always avoided to talk about anything that was on my mind, and he knew kissing would shut me up and stop thinking, so he took advantage of it.

i was so dumb. one kiss and i could forgive everything he had done to hurt me.

"i love you." i whispered between the kissed. he moaned quietly into my mouth in response.

i pulled him down by his neck, now that he was laying on me, i put my legs around his waist. my head sunk into the soft pillow and my hands got lost in his beautiful, but messy, blonde hair. i whispered his name as he started kissing down from plump lips to my soft neck, and soon my chest. i let out quiet moans and my hips were rocking up and down, i wad basically now dry humping him. his hands roamed around my body, and he slid them under my shirt, which was the only thing i was wearing. besides panties of course. "mmh.." he hummed and rubbed my skin under the shirt, that happened to be his. he slowly pulled it over my head and threw it on the floor.

"Rog- oh shit!" a man -John- had just opened the door. it couldn't have been worse timing. even worse, that dumbass Roger jumped off of me. my bare front was now facing John and i even though my eyesight was bad, i could see him blushing. John and i both frozed, and for some reason i didn't take the fucking duvet to cover myself, instead i just sat there like a naked idiot.

soon Freddie walked behind John and started laughing. i flipped them both off and took the duvet that was almost falling out of the bed.

"i couldn't sleep last night because of the noises coming from here, and you're at it again?" he laughed. i wanted to die. i hit Roger on the arm and he turned to look at me with a playful wink.

"so.. did you have something to say?" he cleared his throat, and looked at John and Freddie.

"yeah um.. we should go to the studio before the gig. come." he said awkwardly.

"oh yea right. you can go, i'll be there soon." Roger nodded.

"no Roger you're not gonna get to shag her now, we have a lot of work to do." Freddie came inside the room and pulled Roger by the wrists while he grunted.

"see ya." i laughed and as soon as they left the house, i put on my clothes that were on the floor, and put my hair on a ponytail.

it was morning and i hadn't eaten any breakfast, and i doubt the boys would mind me eating there, i had done it a several times before. i went to the kitchen and made some tea for me. i looked throught their cabinet and fridge, but they were all pretty much empty, though i found some cereal at least.

when i was finished eating, i walked back to Roger's room to get some things that i had left there, like my necklace and a ring. i couldn't find them on the bedside table, and i started to get a little worried, they meant a lot to me. suddenly i felt something under my foot, and i looked down. ah! there they were, on the floor. i kneeled down next to the bed to pick them up, and suddenly i felt like someone stabbed my heart.

i squinted my eyes, and saw a red lacy bra under the bed. i reached to pick them up. i swear to god those weren't mine. i don't own bras like these and i really don't think these are Roger's. i felt a sudden wave of anger rush over me.

i should have seen this coming, but i so hard tried to deny that he would do this. that he would be with another woman. i mean we weren't officially together, but it wasn't like i wouldn't mind him fucking some other bitches. i hated him, but i loved him, so fucking much.

i went up to the phone next to his bed, and dialed the studio's number. i called them a lot, so i remembered the number very well. now i just had to wait for someone to pick up.

a man answered the phone saying the name of the studio and himself, with a 'how can i help you?'

"Roger. can i get Roger please."

"just a second."

i waited a minute and then a familiar voice was heard on the other line. "Hello?"

"Roger fucking Taylor." was all i got out. i cringed at myself a little.

"Jill? are you alright?"

"yeah um i was wondering where you got these red lacy bras that were under your bed. i've been trying to buy those and i can't find them anywhere!" sarcasm was my superpower.

"Jill what-"

"keep it. i knew it, i fucking knew it. fuck you Taylor." i was losing my temper.

"i'm sorry! okay! i'm fucking sorry. i was drunk and i wasn't thinking straight!" he snapped.

"oh really? of course you were drunk! you're always drunk." i muttered. i didn't mind the boys drinking of course, i loved drinking with them, but something about them drinking a lot made me really uncomfortable and i hated it. probably because of my alchoholic dad.

"baby i'm sorry. you know i love you. i love only you. i don't care about whoever's bra those are. i can.. um.. i know! i can come over tonight after the afterparty and promise it won't happen again. you know you're my number one." his voice was breaking.

sometimes i wondered, if he really did love me, why couldn't we be together? he always said it wasn't the right time for a real relationship, but how was it the right time to love me then?

"fine. but i don't want to see another fucking bra in your room if it isn't mine." i said after the long silence. i hated myself for giving up this easily, but i loved him too much to lose him.

"where you looking through my room, love?" he laughed softly. i squinted my eyes, but then realized he couldn't see me.

"no! i picked my necklace from the floor and saw it. i'm not-" "Jill." he cut me off.

"i'll call you when the party's over." he whispered and hung up.