Sunflower Feelings - Roger Taylor

𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮

A/N: ok but listen to unchained melody by The Righteous Brothers while reading (especially at the end when they're at the party)!!

Jill's pov.

the morning was horrible, rather painful. painful because i was so tired and didn't obviously sleep well, but also because it was painful to see Roger next to me.

it was painful to know how much i loved him. how much every single breath that he took meant to me. how much his angelic looks hurt my eyes. it felt like burning. it felt like Roger was the fire and every single deed was a match, then when Roger did anything, he lit up the match and burned my heart with it. that's how it felt. sounds very sad, but it was also good. like when you're really cold and you get something warm to drink, like a hot chocolate. that's what the fire in my heart felt like. it was warm and comforting, but sometimes it just got too hot.

i groaned when i tried to open my eyes but the bright sun making it difficult. Roger stirred next to me, and i quickly looked at him to make sure i didn't wake him up. i wasn't ready to be social this early, especially with him. but thank god, he was still fast asleep.

i sat up and stretched a little before standing up and walking towards the bathroom to do my quick morning routine. i washed my face and brushed my teeth, then put my hair up in a ponytail. i was quietly doing my makeup in the bathroom when the bathroom door suddenly bursted open. i jumped a little at the sudden movement, and because of that, i got some mascara on my eyelids.

"christ Roger don't scare me like that." i sighed, annoyed, as i saw the blonde who had just woken up standing on the doorway.  i looked back to the mirror and saw the mess i had made on my eyelid, "fuck" i groaned to myself.

"i would say the same thing to you!" he said, almost out of breath. he rand his fingers through his messy locks.

"what the hell do you mean?"

"you gave me a fucking heart attack when i didn't see you sleeping next to me as i woke up." he had a worried, but also relieved, look on his face.

"why?" i asked bluntly. i know why he got scared, but maybe i just liked to tease him a little, maybe i wanted hear him say it out loud.

"you know why, Jill. god, every second i'm scared of you leaving. i mean, i don't even wanna think about my life without you and so everytime we have a fight my mind just starts running and thinking the worst." he looked down.

"if i ever left it would be your fault. so if you don't want to live without me, maybe think about what you do." i said, not even looking at him, while i fixed my makeup.

"i know. i try my best to be the best boyfriend. i really love you Jill and i don't wanna fuck this up-" before he even got the chance to finish i spoke up, "you have already fucked up Roger, a few times actually."

"i know!" he raised his voice suddenly, making me flinch a bit. "i know" he repeated, much softer this time, "i hate myself for everything bad that i have done. i don't want us to be ruined because of last night." his blue ocean eyes were watery.

"you're the one ruining us Roger."

"Jill... just- look at me, please."

i finally turned around to face him.

"Jill, i love you so much and i would do my everything for you. i will do my everything to make up everything that i have done. i can go to the top floor of this damn expensive hotel and go to a balcony and scream how much i love you, i would make sure every single person in Los Angeles knows how much i love you. i could go an pick a million sunflowers and each of them would show how much i love you. i could-"