Sunflower Feelings - Roger Taylor

𝙙𝙖𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙

A/N: sorry for the wait again!! it's almost one am on a school night now that i wrote this so i really hope you like this. it's a bit short and maybe boring sorry. love u!! don't be afraid to send feedback.
song: dazed and confused by Led Zeppelin.

"what are you-" my mouth that was full of questions, was now shut with one long slender finger held up on my lips.

"Jill..." was all that came out from his mouth.

then it happened. soon it wasn't his finger on my lips, it was his lips. his soft lips touching mine. a feeling i hadn't experienced in a long time. of course i had kissed, last time about fifteen minutes ago, but it was Roger. not Brian. i hadn't kissed Brian in years, but nothing had changed.

with lips so soft and sweet, it was weird how chrissie could keep her lips off of Brian.

as his warm palm was caressing my flushed cheek, the world around us faded away, and i didn't think about anything. i forgot everything. everyone.

but that moment didn't last so long when i felt his - attractively big - hand started wandering around my body. it went from my neck to my chest, from my chest to my hip. our lips were still attached to each other but now it didn't feel so good. it felt bad. i felt guilty. i let someone else than Roger touch my body like that, and i hated myself for it.

before his hand could get anywhere else, i quickly pulled away, with a puzzled look on my face, i didn't see myself but i knew i had it.

"Brian what the hell are you doing?!" i exclaimed. almost yelling.

"Jill i'm so sorry i-" the lust in his eyes started fading away and soon there was the look of guilt. it kind of made me sad, if i'm honest.

"i love Roger." i furrowed my eyebrows and took one step away from him.

"he doesn't deserve you. you know that right?" he said with a sad tone "look, i know we ended things a while ago, but you can't deny the nights we used to spend together weren't the best nights you've had. or the hot summer days when we were by the lake and you listened me going crazy about astrophysics for hours - which i'm sorry you had to go through." he chuckled sadly.

why was he saying all this? why now? what did he mean that Roger doesn't deserve me? i was loss of words. i had no idea what i was supposed to do. should i just run away and avoid him for as long as possible? should i stay here and talk things through? what the hell did people do in situations like this?

"why- what- you have chrissie! don't you love her?!"

"i do. but i couldn't love anyone else more than you. even as friends. you're always going to be so important to me that you have no idea. and no i'm not going to ask you to leave everything and be with me, nor am i going to give some monologue on how i want you to be mine. i'm just saying that you deserve the best, and that i'll never stop loving you." his mouth corners turned into a small, almost invisible, smile. even though i was talking loudly and almost even panicking, he remained calm. the look in his eyes was almost enough to sooth me, but it wasn't exactly it. it wasn't his eyes that i wanted to look at.

that's when i felt my eyes getting a little watery. i had nothing else to do or say than...

"i will always love you too Bri. but not like that." i wiped my eye, not intentionally smudging my mascara a little.

i grabbed the door handle and opened it.

then the feeling of my heart getting stabbed was there again. the blonde drummer, who owned my heart, stood still in front if the door, with his one hand up in a fist. i assumed he was just about to knock on the door.