Sunflower Feelings - Roger Taylor

𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

Two weeks later

Jill's pov.

i was now officially on my "summer break" and that meant i had more time to spend with Roger and the others. i really loved summer, and i was looking forward to all the nice road trips and all the picnics and such. and of coutse i was looking forward to spend countless of hot summer nights under the stars with Roger by my side.

Roger and i have spent a lot of time together these past months, but from time to time he made excuses why he couldn't meet up. it sometimes me sad, but i understood that he wanted and needed some time alone. little did i know he wasn't always having time alone.

i had been with the other boys a little less, which made me feel a bit guilty and i really hoped to god that they didn't know or have any idea about me and Roger. we still weren't officially together but we were now getting really close, at least i felt like it. because i haven't been with the others that much, i decided to catch up with John in a coffee shop nearby. John and i were really close as well. he was a great person to go to when you needed advice or cheering up. even though he was shy and kind of introvert when there were other people around, he was one of the best people to have intense, and deep, conversations with.

i arrived to the coffee shop and saw John already sitting in one of the tables, with a tea in his hand. he noticed me and smiled, i smiled as a response. i walked to the counter and ordered a coffee, when i got it, i walked to John.
he stood up a little, gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

"how are you doing?" i asked politely.

"pretty good! this day has been a bit stressful but i'm not doing bad at all." he said softly.

"that's great!"

there was a quiet moment between us, until he decided to break it with a question. "so how is he?" he said. i didn't understand what he meant, so i just frowned my eyebrows as if i was asking what he meant. "you know what i mean Jill." as soon as he said that, i got a bit nervous. i was a bit scared that he was talking about what i thought he was talking about.

"you mean Steven? oh yeah, um we-" i started but i was cut off.

"Roger." he said.

"Roger? i don't know what you're talking about." i said, laughing awkwardly and nervously. he sighed, and shook his head with a small smile. i knew it. "is it that obvious?"

"well yes! everytime you leave somewhere, suddenly Roger has to leave too, or when you can't come over, suddenly Roger is going out with a 'friend'. and i could swear i heard someone moaning his name from the toilets the other day. you're lucky i was the only one around." he laughed a little, as soon as he said that my cheeks were burning. this was so embarrassing, but also really bad. what if he is mad at me? i hid my face in my hands in embarrasment.

"i.. um.. are you mad?" i sounded like a five year old talking to her dad after being caught sneaking candy. he sighed and shook his head, again with a smile. "no, Jill, i think you two would look cute together, really. but i know there is someone who would get mad." i knew he was talking about Brian, and i knew that i had done him wrong.

i nodded, and before i was able to say anything, John started talking again. "but um.." that didn't sound very good. "Jill.. i'm just a bit scared, for you. you know how Roger is.. now, i'm not saying that he can't be loyal and he could really be falling for you but just watch out. i don't want him hurting my best friend."

he had a point, and unfortunately he was right. at first when we started hooking up, i thought he would never want anything else from me that friendship and sex, but now i realized that he was actually a good person, and i felt like he really liked me. i mean hell, he froze the last time i said that he loved me, though he never really admitted it. sure he would sometimes flirt with girls in pubs, or sometimes i had caught him staring at another girl's body, but i didn't mind it that much. at this point i was so into him that i refused to find any mistakes in him, and i definetely refused to think that he would think about any other girl than me. i trusted him.

"i trust him." was the only thing i said. he just nodded. soon our conversation led to another and another.

"so how's Brian and Freddie?" i asked, i was actually curious. "oh they're doing great. our music is doing great and the new album is doing great!" he said happily, and that made me happy.

we finished our drinks and headed to the park that was close. we just walked around and talked. i enjoyed his company.

***

i had arrived home about four hours ago. it was now nine PM. i had been avoiding to call Roger, so i didn't seem really desparate, but before i realized, i had the phone in my hand and i was dialing his number. then i was waiting for him to pick up. it didn't take much.

"hello?" i heard him answer under his breath.

"hi, it's Jill." i smiled. i didn't really mind his heavy breathing, i assumed he was just fighting with Brian or Freddie, like usually.

"oh.. hi." he said. i frowned a little.

"what are you doing? i miss you."

"oh im just.. you know.. writing a song and stuff."

"alright. wanna come over tonight?" i tried to sound seductive, but i think i failed.

"i'm a bit busy right now, but i can maybe come later. is that alright?"

"yes sure! see you." i smiled and he hung up. even though i had seen him yesterday, i missed him like crazy.

i was waiting for him to come over, even though i knew he probably wasn't coming. everytime he was writing music, he would do it for a long amount of time, and he was always really into it. i loved that he was really passionate about things he loved.

i really was a fool in love.