The Villainess Will Not Bring Dishonor To Her Family

94 - Choices That Must Be Made

To choose between shameful victory or honorable defeat is nothing you should do without thought of the consequences.
While many may only see it connected to the art of war, it is a way of life.

An example is shown clearly in this book I am in. The Lily in the book tried to walk the path of shameful victory.

She was about to lose her beloved prince, and rather than accepting defeat, she began using dishonorable methods to win. Still, even then she failed, and because of her actions she was killed in public.

As for Darius... he appears to be considering his answer for a good while. Perhaps he has figured out that this question means more to me than just your average dilemma.

Darius looks up determinedly and replies boldly, "A shadow-guard is not dishonorable, but I would probably choose honorable defeat... I want to protect people and that is honorable."

....

I hold in sigh.

"Darius. The only reason you realistically choose a shadow guard over a normal one is to tempt the enemy into attacking you. Rather than a normal guard that prevents an attack, shadow-guards are used that way to give you an excuse to attack those who fell to temptation while appearing justified. It is a trap that increases the probability of war rather than keeping peace."

I stare at him calmly as he soaks up my words.

"But they attacked first, so it is honorable to defend yourself," he insists while furrowing his brows.

"We are not perfecting the art of war, we are defending the art of peace," I retort sharply. He looks confused at my words and considers them for a while, but I am not done with him yet.

"Guarding aside, sneaking and backstabbing will never be honorable behavior, and it is certainly not behavior fit for a knight. You are not acting as the virtuous knight you should be. A legend going 'and thus knight Darius snuck up behind his enemy and stabbed him to death' will never come to pass. Even then, do you still want to become a shadow-guard?"

I remind him of the consequences of what he has thought of as natural, and how he steps away from the path that he is required to follow as a knight. Honestly, if it had been one of my soldiers and not Eric's, then I would have had him sent home. He doesn't fit in. Darius' magic is strong and very effective, and he must have gotten this position because of that... but as he is right now, his behavior is unworthy of his title as a knight.

"...I do."

He looks determined. Even more so than before. I take my three breaths of thought before I continue.

"I see. Then, when we return I will recommend you to the Salender army and the armies of the northern marquesses. Those are the only ones that would take in a shadow-guard."

He stiffens.

"I am only loyal to the Celeste!" He bursts out as he realizes that my final question from before was not a test of his determination, but a test of whether or not he should stay in our army.

I watch him quietly, but I have no intention of changing my mind on this.

"I have no need for a shadow-guard. Eric does not do things those ways either. Despite your dreams and loyalties, this is reality. You cannot fulfill your dream at our side."

Darius is now split between his loyalty and his dream... and it shows... his eyes begin to glisten with frustration.

"... is there no way you will accept me?"

His tone turns bitter, and he clenches his fists. It is all too clear that he feels like the world is against him... but he never made a realistic choice to begin with. Going up to a tailor and saying you want to be their blacksmith apprentice is not going to get you anywhere. He's simply the wrong place.