130 - Helena and Jesmaine's Final Part

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Jesmaine Polliet's Point Of View

Why... why did this happen? Even after I had concluded that things could have gone better with Lily if we had just properly looked into things.

Why didn't I apply that to Jacques?!

'He really just wanted to talk with you,' Helena had said.

I didn't want to believe something like that. I didn't want to believe that the one hour question sessions had in any way been just about talking.

No... more than that... I didn't want to believe anything Helena was saying... because it would make me a terrible person.

I would have told people that got their families kidnapped and killed that the killer wasn't so bad. I would have tried to convince them that he was a good guy... and I... I complained to the handmaidens about Jacques for so long. I never said anything good of him, and I called him more evil than the one causing the deaths in their families so certainly. That's why they had been shocked. That's why they'd tried to convince me afterwards to reconsider my words while being unable to look at me.

I don't want that. I don't want to be the mean ignorant person. I'm not that kind of person.

It had to be a lie... but the letter was nothing like what Helena told me. The villain... my capturer, my fiancé... let me go. The one thing I never thought he would do because I was his possession. Helena was in just as much shock as I was for a moment, but then more... because she didn't know anything but Catarina's words.

She had never been there when Jacques visited me and I never spoke to him first or elaborated in what he asked me. Even... even if I try to argue that it was an interrogation and not a conversation, I never responded a lot. I never gave him the chance to talk. I never asked things back either. I don't know how his days went or what he spent them on. I don't know his hobbies or his family relationships. I don't know if he has friends, nor anything about him.

Every time I baked and he would appear I always did the same. He would at times if he could taste, but I didn't want to let him so I always used an excuse. Then I called him evil straight to his face and in front of the people under him. I humiliated him even though he told the truth. Doesn't that make me the evil person? There's no way he would stay with someone like that.

...but...

Why would he not tell me?! If he knew I was misunderstanding things for that long, then why would he not tell me?! Why would he let me hurt him and everyone around me for so long?!

The door to the room open and some of my handmaidens step in. Banishment. I was no longer an interest to the crown so I couldn't stay, and Jacques wouldn't see me. At this point the last thing I said to him would have been accusations and cruel words!

I want answers!

I turn from where I had been standing and run for the window in the cream colored lace dress. As the fabric hits my legs I vaguely remember having been angry at Jacques when I thought he tried to buy my love with it. Streams of memories run through my mind with these pointless things I notice. Even the flat shoes from when I told him I dislike high heels. I'd been planning this escape for a long time now, so I know I can just barely squeeze through the vertical bars because of my body's small frame and the corset the handmaidens insisted I wore underneath the dress. Jacques never bought me these. Had I told him I hated them? My leg, shoulder and head passed through fairly easily. The problem came after that, and the handmaidens were dropping their things in a panic.

I wriggle and twist to get through and my breasts are almost squished flat rather painfully, but I get through. I do have one more trick up my sleeve, and it's two spells I worked quite hard on perfecting while I was at the academy.

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