The One I Want

Weak

Jimin

"Are you okay? You look a little pale."
I force a smile at Taehyung and his concern. Kissing his cheek, I squeeze his hand, keeping my eyes on the movie in front of us. The smell of his popcorn killing my stomach and making me sick. I try to ignore it, though.
"I'm fine, babe."
He snuggles into my side. "Is it the pregnancy?" He asks innocently.
My eyes widen and I jerk my head to face him. "W-What?!"
He frowns. "Are you worried about everyone finding out about my pregnancy? I know Namjoon is protective over me but he knows how I feel about you and it's my life."
I swallow convulsively. "N-no. It's not that. I promise I'm fine. Just not feeling too hot. I think I might be coming down with something." I whisper softly.
"Do you want to take a nap? It's okay if you have to go home early, Minie."
God, I don't deserve him. I really don't. I've fucked up so much lately. I've yet to admit anything about my relationship with his brother or my...problem. I haven't taken care of that, either. I'm a mess.
It's been almost a month since I found out, too. There's not excuse, really. I'm just scared. "Tae..."
"Hm?" He plays with my fingers, eating his popcorn with his free hand. I stare at his gorgeous profile, unsure of myself and my feelings at the moment.
"N-nothing." I take a deep breath. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. Be right back."
He nods absentmindedly.
I get up and slip out of the room, making my way to the luxurious bathroom down the hall instead of his own private one.
I immediately drop down before the toilet and throw up, feeling hot and nauseous. I hear a creak and glance over to see Namjoon peaking his head inside. Great. Just who I didn't want to see.
He frowns at me. "You okay? I don't know you were here..."
Groaning, I clutch my stomach and empty my small meal into the toilet. Sweat blooms on my forehead.
He drops to my side and rubs my back. "Babe, what's wrong?"
I wince, hating that I've been too weak to end things completely with him. That I've let things go so far with Taehyung...that I'm in deep shit.
I finish up and push away from him, washing my mouth out and wetting my face with cool water.
He follows me. "Jimin...what the hell is going on? You've been acting so weird for the last couple weeks. Avoiding me."
Glaring at him—hating my own weaknesses—I scoff. "You know I like Taehyung."
Staring back, he nods. "I do. And you know I like you."
"How does Tae feel about his older brother pining after his boyfriend?" I mock.
"You were mine first." His lips twitch. "Remember?"
Oh, fuck, how I wish I could forget. Forget everything. Every time.
I take a deep calming breath. "Did he tell you the good news?" I blurt out.
"What news?"
"He's pregnant." I want to say it proudly but I just feel nauseous again.
His smirk turns into a frown. "Excuse me?"
I lick my dry lips. "He's pregnant. It's mine. I'm planning on mating him." I announce. We really haven't talked about it...
Anger flashes across his face and he crowds me against the sink. "The fuck, Jimin? You fucking took advantage of my baby brother and got him pregnant before properly mating him like he deserves? This is why I wanted you to stay away from him in the first place! You're such a fucking whore!"
I flinch at his harsh words and tone. "It's not like that! I really like him!"
"And yet you still moan and beg under me while claiming to truly like—you can't even say you love him!" He argues, slamming his hands down on the mirror on either side of my head. "Say it. Say you love Kim Taehyung. Tell me."
I hate that I'm scared of him. For the first time. He truly looks like a forbidding alpha. Strong and more than capable of hurting me.
I struggle to breath, my stomach beginning to hurt. "I d-do l-love him..." Why can't I stop stuttering?
He scoffs. "Really? That's not what you claimed in my bed the other night." His eyes turn cold. "Fucking slut. You are going to go in there and tell him the fucking truth! If he stills wants you then that's up to him but don't you dare think of touching him again without him knowing what you truly are—a worthless little whore. You only care about yourself and material things. You've played my feelings since the beginning and don't think I don't know how you use me—I let you but I refuse to let you use Taehyung in the same way." He demands, grabbing my wrist painfully tight and dragging me out of the bathroom.
I ground my heels down and struggle out of his grip. "Wait! P-please...I'll tell him! J-just not now...please, Joon..." I beg.
He pauses, breathing hard and staring at the floor. Tears well up in my eyes. I'm shaking. I can't do this now. "P-please...Joonie..."
Huffing, he spins on his heel and pushes me against the wall, kissing me hard. Hot and rough. His fist tangling in my hair. He's always so painfully rough...
I kiss him back numbly, afraid to upset him more. Afraid he'll make me confess. He pulls back a little and rests his forehead against mine, pinning me with his body. I tremble. Will he notice the tiny bump? He hasn't so far...I've had him focused on other parts of me...
His eyes focus into mine. Cold and harsh. Very unlike his usual calm self. "My room. Now."
I barely give a nod.
He releases me and stalks off down the hall. I crumble down to the floor and stare blankly ahead of me.
I force myself to calm down. Just do it, Jimin. You don't have a choice. This is all your fault. You've done this to yourself. You've played yourself in the end...
I eventually force myself up before Taehyung can get worried and begin searching for me. I timidly walk back into his bedroom and stare at him, sweating and nervous.
"Hey! You missed most of the movie.." he pouts.
I wipe my brow. "Sorry, baby. Look...I h-have to go home, okay? I think I am coming down with sometime and don't want to get you sick...you know...since you're pregnant and all." I mumble.
His hand drops protectively to his stomach and he nods. "Okay. Call me before bedtime? I like falling asleep to to your voice."
I smile despite the self hatred brewing inside me. "Of course, baby." I lean down and kiss his head. "I l...lo...—I'll call you." I can't say it. I literally can't say I love him. Why? I do...
He seems to notice my struggle and I hate myself even more when he frowns, a little hurt in his eyes. "I love you, Jimin. It's okay if you can't say it back yet. I'll wait."
Fuck. I'm a monster.
I wish Namjoon would have beat me. "You're the best, Tae. I don't deserve you." I whisper.
"You do. You're the best, Minie—for me. I hope you feel better."
Nodding, I slowly walk out of his room and close the door. Glancing at the stairs and the front door...I begin walking opposite them and deeper into the house. Towards Namjoon's room for the night.