The One I Want

Shattered

Jin

    "So...how have things been? I feel like I've been gone forever and missed a lot." Hoseok asks, sipping his chocolate milkshake, frowning at Jimin who just dejectedly sits curled up in his seat.
     I sigh. He has missed a lot. He and Yoongi just got back from a week long trip. I didn't tell him what happened with Namjoon and Jimin. It wasn't my place.
     And Jimin has been glued to my side compulsively. He follows me everywhere—not that I mind. I enjoy his company. I just wish he'd shrug off his depression but I understand. It sucks being used and having no control. I know that feeling all too well.
     "It's been...hectic."
     Hoseok observes Jimin as he ignores his food, fidgeting anxiously with his shirt. "Jimin? You okay? How's the baby?"
     The beta pales. "Fine. It's fine...fine."
     I chew on my lip, unsure whether to comment or not.
     "Are you positive?" He presses.
     They stare at each other for a long moment before Jimin snaps. He bursts into tears. "C-can we talk?"
     Hoseok stares at me in shock as I just nod and let him take Jimin to the bathroom. I remain at the table just playing with my food, unable to stomach much of anything lately.
     Everything has just been awful. Jimin is hurting, Hoseok has been gone, and Jungkook left for another business trip for the week. He left the day two days after the whole Namjoon thing.
     I can't help feeling something off about my mate since then. He doesn't look at me the same if he even looks at me at all. It makes my stomach hurt but I don't know why.
     I hope he's not losing interest in me. He says he loves me but the change in him is more than noticeable. Even Jimin asked about it at one point. I haven't been different. I don't get it. I hope Namjoon didn't say anything to upset him so much. I know Jimin is his best friend but surely he's not taking it that personally?
     I sigh and sit back, tapping my foot as I sit alone waiting for them to come back. I get it. Jimin needs to talk to someone somewhat going through what he is and with them being pregnant I can understand why he feels closer to him right now.
     My phone chimes in my pocket. My face lights up. Kookie. "Hey!"
     "Hey, Jinnie. I just wanted to let you know my trip is getting cut short. We finished our deal much sooner than planned. I'll be home early in the morning instead of Friday."
     "That's great! I miss you." My cheeks flush and I look around. Why it embarrasses me to admit such an innocent thing to my mate in public is ridiculous even to me.
     "I miss you, too. I, Uh, talked to appa yesterday about slowing down on my trips out of town. I want to spend more time with you. You are more important to me than making new unnecessary deals."
      "R-really?"
     "Yeah. He agreed to take over for my next two trips so I can stay in Korea and work from the main office. I'll be able to come home to you everyday then."
      Excitement fills me. "That's great! I really wish you were home right now."
     He pauses. "How's Jimin?"
    "He's...coping. He's talking with Hoseok right now. I think they can help each other more than I can." The stupid thought of me unable to conceive takes over again and I hate it. I don't want to deal with my insecurities right now.
Focus, Jin...
     He sighs. "I've never seen him acting like this before. He's always been a cocky little bitch. Confident and slutty but that was just his way. I don't really know how to handle this depressed and meek Jimin."
     I smile at the concern. "He'll be fine. I'll take care of him and help him through everything. He doesn't need an alpha to raise his child. He can do it with our help."
     "Technically I'm an alpha but okay. I get the sentiment."
     "Smartass."
     "That you love."
     I keep glancing towards the bathroom where the two wondered off to. It's been a while. "I suppose." Teasing. "I can't wait to see you in the morning. I love you."
     "I love you, too, Jin. More than you know. I'll see you soon."
     I hang up the phone and finish my meal before paying and walking towards the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door.
     It swings open revealing a crying Jimin and a smiling Hoseok. "You guys ready?"
     They both nod.
     "Let's go back to my place." Hoseok suggests much too cheerfully. "I think a change in scenery is in order."
     I think he's right.

     "I'm a fucking god! No one owns me!"
     I panic, attempting to hold my hands out in case Jimin hurts himself as he dances on the coffee table in Hoseok's living room. Said best friend is in the process of trying to stay conscious on the floor.
How the fuck we got into such a situation? I'm not sure. One minute we were all whiny and depressed and the next thing I know—Hoseok pulled out alcohol.
     Did I try to stop them? Yes.
     Did I get hit? Yes.
     Am I terrified for their safety? Most definitely.
I know they needed a break and to let loose but I don't feel comfortable with this. Me, myself? I'm tipsy as hell. After being denied as the voice of logic, I gave up and decided to drink, too.
     Bad idea. My balance is completely off as I try to watch Jimin's swaying movements as he spins and spins on the table. I'm happy he's in a better mood but I think this was a horrible idea.
     I think I'm going to be sick.
     I sway and try to grasp the couch to steady myself as Jimin finally gets down as promptly throws up all over the floor.
     The smell and sight is enough to have me running to the trashcan to relieve my own stomach. Grimacing, I stomp back into the living room to see them both passed out. Good god.
      I groan, sickly, as I trip over to the couch and fall face first. I'm never drinking again. Do I ever learn my lesson? Look what happened last time I got drunk?! Im so stupid.
     The front door opens and Yoongi steps inside, his eyes widening as he takes in the sight of the three of us. I try to sit up but give up within seconds, my muscles too sore to carry my weight.
     "What to fuck happened in here?!" He demands. I wince at the loud sound, covering my ears.
     Muttering curses under his breath, he heaves his heavily pregnant and drunk mate into his arms and carries him into the bedroom. I'm sure Hoseok is going to be severely punished for this shit.
     I can't imagine that going in Yoongi's favor, though. He comes back minutes later with cleaning supplies and begins cleaning up after Jimin before glaring at me. Not my fault!
     I try to speak in my defense but all that comes out is a whimper. He sighs. "Jin, What the hell? I trust you to take care of him when I'm not around. You know how impulsive he is!" His tone is much softer, worried.
     I sit up after a long struggle. "S-sorry. I tried but you know how he gets. Jimin was on his side. I couldn't fight it out of their hands!"
     He stares at Jimin's sleeping form, shaking his head. "I don't know what to do with him."   
     "I'll take him home."
     "You're drunk."
     "I'll call a cab for us."
     He groans. "Just sleep here. This isn't happening again, though." He warns. "You and Jimin are always welcome here but not for this shit. I've already lost one child. I'm not letting him throw everything away again." He says quietly. "I know he's stressed but this isn't the way. He's going to hate himself when he wakes." 
     I glance at Jimin. I'm not sure how he'll feel about this. I know he doesn't want his baby but...surely he will regret this, too, right? "Yeah...I know. I really tried to stop this. I'm sorry, Yoongi."
      "It's alright. I don't really blame you but I can't come home to shit like this again. My job is hard enough without having to worry about Hoseok and our child all the time. I wish he'd be more responsible."
      I feel awful. Hoseok always was the partier. The wild card in our friendship. He's not very responsible. I should have tried harder to stop it.
     "Thanks, Yoongi."
     "Mhm." He turns off the light and head back into the bedroom, closing the room behind him.
     Forcing myself up, I clean Jimin up a little and help him into a more comfortable position before sitting up and rubbing my face. I need water.
      After getting a glass of water, I lean against the kitchen counter in the dark and play with my phone, wanting so much to call my mate.
      I know it's late and I know he's probably sleeping but the alcohol encourages me to dial his number. I plan to hang up after the fifth ring but surprisingly he picks up.
      His voice is not what I hear, though. No. I wish I heard his voice. What I do hear makes the glass of water fall from my hand and shatter on the floor.
     Heavy panting and loud moans from a much deeper voice.
Taehyung's voice.
      Moaning my mate's name.