The One I Want

Don't Leave Me

Jungkook

     Everything is still a little fuzzy. It's been a couple weeks since I woke from the hospital but I still don't feel right. Seeing Jin though brought back some of the memories of that night and the pain and guilt nearly overwhelmed me.
     I tried to explain to him but he just shushed and kissed me, telling me he wasn't mad and didn't blame me. I could tell it still hurt him, though. I could see it in his eyes.
     He's been by my side constantly, though. Helping me do anything and everything. Feeding me, cleaning me, helping me to the bathroom. I'm not going to lie—it hurts my alpha pride deep down but at the same time...I quite enjoy his care. His unwavering love and trust in me.
      We've really come far. I sit up slowly as he comes into the bedroom, carrying a large tray. "Jinnie, you know the maids can do all this."
     "I like doing it."
     I like you doing it, too. "You should rest. I'm fine now. The doctor said I should be able to start moving around on my own more."
      He frowns. "Kookie, stop being stubborn and let me help you." He admonishes. "I'm your mate. This is my job."
      I smirk. "You're the stubborn one, baby. You just don't want anyone else taking care of me." I tease.
      He pauses, blushing. "Maybe." He huffs. "Maybe I just don't trust anyone else feeding you after what happened."
      Fair enough.
I lose the smile. Eventually we're going to have to talk about what happened but I know he's not ready. Hell, I'm not ready, either. My eyes trail to the tray and my stomach let's out a growl.
He smiles brightly. "I cooked your favorite." He opens the tray to reveal a fat juicy steak and simmering veggies with potatoes on the side. It looks mouthwatering and I'm ravenous.
I tsk. "That's not my favorite meal, Jinnie."
He frowns, jerking his head up. "Yes it is. I think I know your favorite meal."
I lick my lips. "Nope. Try again."
He stares at me for a long moment—our eyes meeting and holding. He blushes after a minute. "You're awful."
Laughing, I wink. "We both know you're my favorite meal, sweetheart." I groan. "So sweet and succulent..."
Rolling his eyes, he sits down and begins feeding me. A little more forceful than necessary I might add. To be truthful I'm more than capable of feeding myself but I like when he does it. I love his attentions on me and only on me.
When I'm finished, I wipe my mouth, eyeing him up and down like dessert. He side steps my advances, however, when I try to hold him.
"No! Jungkook, you're still recovering. We can't...I mean...stop it!"
I pout. "But it's been so long."
     He scowls, putting his hands on his hips. "When you're better..."   
      "I'm fine!" Protesting. I push off the sheets and try to stand—a little too fast. I huff, breathless, and freeze.
Jin raises an eyebrow, smirking. "I'm not going anywhere, Kookie. I'm right here." He sighs softly, approaching me.
I'm surprised when he climbs onto my lap, straddling me. His fingers teasing the hair of my nape as he leans in to kiss me. Groaning into the kiss, I bask in his sweet taste.
How the hell could I forget his taste? His smell? Drugged or not...it seems impossible now. I slip my tongue into his mouth and explore slowly, my hands cradling his body close to mine.
When he pulls back, both of us are panting. I cup his cheeks, gazing into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby. Jin, I can't believe—"
"Shh." He stops me. Kissing me again before getting up and straightening his clothes. He avoids looking at me. "It's okay. I know what happened. You don't have to apologize. You were victimized."
I frown. "It's not okay, though. We both were victimized. Whether it was out of my control or not...the fact that I was with another besides you...kills me inside."
His shoulders slump and he seems to hold all his weight up on his hands pressed on the dresser, head low. "I'm not going to say that I never think of that. I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt." He admits, finally turning back to look at me. "But I'm also not going to say it's your fault and I'm angry because it's not. I'm not mad at you."
"What Taehyung did—"
"Never tell Jimin." He cuts me off.
"What?"
"Don't tell Jimin. He doesn't know the whole truth. I don't want him to know. After everything he's been going through...I don't think he could handle knowing what Taehyung did to you."
I deflate a little. "Jin, baby, Jimin deserves to know."
He glares, his anger flaring a little more. "No. No, he doesn't. D-do you even get how shameful this is for me? How embarrassing this whole situation is for me, Jungkook? My mate...was seduced by another omega. You fucked someone else. I don't want Jimin to know that. I don't want him to know that it was Taehyung—the omega he loved—that took you from me."
I frown. "He didn't take me, Seokjin. I never once wanted him. Never. I thought it was you the whole—he knew I only wanted you. He acted like you to get me. He drugged me so I couldn't get your scent, your taste. Do you know how humiliating this is for me, an alpha? I was drugged and used by an omega."
He bods curtly. "So why do you want Jimin to know that? Why does anyone but us and the doctor need to know?" He pleads.
I drop my head and stare at my hands. "Are you ashamed of having me as your alpha, Jin? Honestly?"
His gasp makes my head snap back up. "I'm not. I'm...I'm ashamed of myself. W-what if...what if Taehyung gets pregnant, huh? What if I can't? Have you thought about that? What other reason would he have to make you have sex with him? He must have had an end goal to this. What if he uses that to t-take you from me?" He raises his voice.
I had thought of that, actually. "It wouldn't change a thing. No matter what reasons he had would not change my love and loyalty to you. You are my mate—not him. Even if he got pregnant I wouldn't care. I would never leave you. Having an heir isn't important to me. I've told you that."
He shakes his head, tears filling his eyes. "Your parents would. If they knew you got another omega pregnant...we both know they'd make you accept him."
I scoff. "I'd take the child, yes, but not him. I want nothing to do with him. He's a little psycho."
He comes and sits beside me so I take his hand and squeeze. "I just...I'm so afraid I can't give you what you need. I can be here for you, I can take care of you. I can teach you and do all kinds of things, be a good husband and mate but...but my body just doesn't seem to want to cooperate. I can't will my body to get pregnant and it's killing me." He cries quietly.
I pull him into my arms and kiss his head. "Baby, listen to me. Baby or no baby we will be fine. I'm yours—only yours. Nothing is going to change that. Ever. Please stop doing this to yourself." I plead.
He buries his head in my chest. "I can't help it. I j-just...I just want it so bad. At first I didn't. I never wanted to have kids but now, thinking I'm unable, I want it so much. I want to give you that and I just can't. It's tearing me apart." He sobs, fisting my shirt in his fists. "P-please don't leave me."
"Shh, baby, I'm not. I'm not going to leave you. Calm down, okay." I wipe his tears, kissing him deeply. "Look—why don't we make an appointment with a fertility doctor that specializes in omega cases, Okay? We can get some help."
He sniffles. "D-do you think that could work?"
"I don't know but it's a start. I'm not leaving you. I've worked extremely hard to keep you, baby. I'm not fucking it up and being stupid. I'm not going anywhere."
He nods, finally relaxing in my arms.
I smile. "I love you, Jin."
He takes a deep breath. "I really hope that remains true after everything..."
"Always. You can never escape me." I tease but completely serious. Taehyung will never ever get what he wants. Nothing could make me leave my omega. I belong to Jin just as much as he belongs to me.