Weak | S.R

Spencer

I got worried when Allie didn't call back. She was spacing out at the end of our phone call as it was.

The comment that I made before she started acting distant was about having kids and being married. I'm pretty sure it upset her.

I didn't mean for it to upset her, I was just being honest. I always thought that by now I'd have a family of my own.

I pull up outside of her apartment building, seeing her already sat outside on a bench a few feet away from the door. Her hair is wet and she's wearing a red hoodie and black leggings.

I hop out of the car, rushing to her and taking my coat off. It's freezing outside, she'll catch a cold.

"Where's your coat?" I sigh as she stands up.

"I'm not cold," She shrugs. "I run hot."

"It doesn't matter if you're not cold, you'll get sick. Especially with your hair wet," I put her hood up and drape my jacket over her shoulders. "Arms in."

She does as I say, but doesn't look too thrilled about it.

"Come here," I pull her into my arms, holding her tightly to me.

She hugs back, holding me close.

"Let's get in the car, okay?"

Allie pulls away, nodding. I open the car door for her and let her get in before closing it and running around to my side.

After I get in and put on my seat belt, I pull out of the lot and set out toward a park.

"What's going on?" I ask her, offering her my hand to hold between the seats.

She takes it, giving it a small squeeze. "A lot," The girl admits. "There's just a lot going on in my mind right now."

"Tell me about it, Al," I squeeze her hand back. "Let it all out."

"I don't even know where to start," She says quietly. "Or how to start."

"Anywhere at all,"

She's quiet for a few seconds, thinking...

"I'm sorry,"

I peek over at her once before bringing my attention back to the road. Tears are rolling down her cheeks.

"Why are you apologizing? You haven't done anything wrong, Allie. I promise, you haven't," I assure her, letting go over her hand to turn into the parking lot of a tiny park.

I stop the car, put it in park, and look over at her. "Sit in the backseat with me," I gesture behind us. "So I can hold you."

She nods and the two of us get out and get into the backseat, scooting close to each other. I wrap my arm around her and pull her legs over my lap.

"You haven't done anything wrong, baby."

She snuggles up to me, burying her face in my neck. "I took away your chance at being a dad. I was selfish-"

My heart breaks when she says it. It took her so long to come out of the depressive episode she fell into while doing the medication abortion. Now, she's falling right back into it.

"You weren't selfish..."

"I was, Spencer. I...I wasn't ready, but I could have adapted. I could have learned, I could have made it work," She says, looking up at me with tear-filled bloodshot brown eyes.

"Allie," I frown, looking back at her and setting my hand on her arm. "You were not being selfish."

"I was, I-"