Weak | S.R

Allie

I stare back at Spencer, waiting for an answer. Sad brown eyes look back at me. He doesn't say anything, which is enough of an answer for me.

I scoff and shake my head as more tears flood my eyes and spill out. "Of course," I sigh, wiping my tears and getting up off of the floor.

"Allie," Spencer gets up, too. "Allie, that doesn't mean that I don't love you."

I take a seat on my bed, grabbing a pillow to hug. "So, you still think of her and... wish things were different."

"I...I still think of her from time to time and of course I'll always wonder, but she was-"

"She was the love of your life," I cut him off, shaking my head. I sniffle and hug the pillow tighter.

"Allie, that's not-"

I cut him off again, looking up at him. "So, what do you want me for? Just... to give you what you want?" I tilt my head to the side. "Give you the things that you wanted with Maeve? Kids? And of course, sex! You can't get sex from a corpse!" I stand up and shot the last bit at him.

"No! Stop it!" He shouts back. "I'm not settling for you! I've told you this before!"

"Well, it sure seems like it. Maybe Maeve should be the one meeting your mom-"

"God, you're being so immature. I suppose that's what I get," Spencer runs a hand through his hair.

"For what, Spencer?"

"For being with someone sixteen years younger than me!" He yells, gesturing toward me.

All of the anger inside me disappears when those words leave his lips. I'm left with nothing but sadness.

I give him a small nod and step over to my desk, opening up my journal and tearing out the two most recent pages. I fold them in half and look up at Spencer.

"Give these to your mom when you see her," I tell him, holding the papers out to him.

"Allie-"

"It's what I planned to say. I knew I'd be too nervous, so I had to make notes. Just... give this to her."

Spencer takes them from me. "Allie, I didn't me-"

"Go," I shake my head. "Leave, Spencer."

He looks back at me, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to work out what to say.

"Leave!" I shout at him, pointing to the door.

He shakes his head. "No, no, I'm not going anywhere. Allie, please, I didn't-"

"Just go!" I cry, my tears falling even faster.

"Please... just listen to me," He sets his hands on my shoulders. He's got tears in his eyes, too.

I pull away from him. "Leave, Spencer. I don't want anything to do with you."

"What? Are you... are you breaking up with me?"

"I'm too immature to know for sure. You tell me."

"Allie, please-"

"I'm not gonna tell you again, Spencer. For the last time... leave."

He stands there for a few seconds, looking at me in disbelief before opening my door and stepping out.

I lock it behind him and turn the lights in my room off, crawling into bed to cry some more.

What the fuck? What the fuck just happened?

He did have a problem with the age difference... I knew he did. It only took him getting angry at me to voice it.