Weak | S.R

Allie

Spencer, Penelope, Luke, Derek, and I had Christmas dinner and opened gifts with Diana. It took her a little while, but eventually she recognized Spencer.

We ended up having a lovely time. We played Uno, Diana effectively embarrassed Spencer by showing all of us his baby photos. They weren't new to me, but Penelope and Derek were losing their minds over the photos and talking in baby-talk voices to Spencer.

Everyone seemed to love my cooking, which I was very happy about. Spencer helped with some of it, so I gave credit where it was due. Still, I'm the mastermind behind all of it.

Spencer and I got his mom a really nice leather journal and a quality pen with her initials engraved into it. Plus, some clothes and a cozy blanket.

The day turned out to be really amazing.

I know when Spencer came home, he'd lost all hope that the rest of today would be good. I'm glad that I could help turn it around.

When we got home, we put everything away and decided to head up to bed. We stayed later than we'd anticipated.

Spencer took a shower, but didn't ask me to join him. He always does if I'm around, I just haven't in a while. Maybe he's given up because I always say no. Now, I feel bad.

Our showers are usually nothing sexual, mostly just consisting of talking about our days.

I just don't want him to see me naked. Not like this. I'm gigantic, and it's only going to get worse.

Which sucks. Which really sucks. My sex drive has been off the chain lately and there's no way I'm getting some looking like this. No fucking way. Maybe if I kept my clothes on.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of the shower turning off. I watch the door to the bathroom closely and within a minute, Spencer steps back into the room with only a towel around his waist.

Fuck. Me.

The wet hair, bare chest...

I hate this.

"I forgot to grab clothes," He tells me as he goes through his dresser drawers, picking out pajamas.

This is torture.

When Spencer comes back out of the bathroom after getting dressed, he crawls into bed and grabs the book off of his nightstand, opening it up to continue reading.

My eyes land on his hands, his fingers...

Then, his lips and the way his tongue pokes out slightly as he reads.

His lips move, he says something, but I didn't hear it. There's a weird, romantic movie score playing in my head. It's too loud, I can't even register that he said something and that it was probably supposed to be for me.

Then, he looks over at me.

"Allie?" He pulls me out of my thoughts and the movie score is put on mute.

"Huh?" I blink a couple of times, looking back at him in confusion.

He looks just about as confused as I am. "You've been staring at me for five minutes."

"I'm sorry, I'm just spacing out..."

He nods and looks back down at his book. "You've been doing that pretty often."

Have I?

"Mhm, you have."

And now I'm saying things out loud that I hadn't meant to. Nice.

"I'm sorry," I apologize again.

Spencer closes his book and sets it back down on the nightstand before looking over at me. "I know you've been stressed lately... and that there's a lot on your mind. Just know that I'm always here if you want to get something off of your chest, alright? Whenever you want to talk, yell, cry... that's what I'm here for."