Chapter 33

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He wasn't sure how far he'd gone but nothing looked even relatively familiar now. Louis' skin was covered in a tiny layer of sweat and his breathing was coming faster.

Should've known. Should've fucking known! This is why I don't do real relationships. I don't pick someone. I don't fall in- he stopped himself. I don't. Because then you get attached and needy and then when it doesn't work out, you get hurt!

Louis had never been attached so he'd never been hurt.

If this is what it feels like to be in- he stopped again. Then I don't want it!

Louis swiped his hand out to hit whatever was in his peripheral view, which happen to be a metal tray of medical supplies. It crashed to the ground with a loud ping.

Hearing the noise, a doctor came rushing out into the hallway.

"Are you alright?" she asked concerned.

Louis looked at her but didn't see her. He couldn't make his eyes focus on the face in front of him.

"No," he cried weakly, "Nothing is okay. My not boyfriend that I lo-," he shook his head, "I'll never get to be with him. Won't ever kiss him again. Probably won't even be alone with him again."

"Honey, you should sit down," the doctor led Louis to a chair and knelt in front of him. "I don't know what's going on but you should probably discuss it with your not boyfriend."

Louis did look at her then. "I can't."

"I know it's scary but-"

"No. I can't. Too many people watching," Louis whispered like they might hear him. "And nobody knows. His parents don't know," Louis dropped his head into his hands. "And they won't keep him safe if they know. And they're always around now 'cause he's hurt and sick and in this hospital that smells like death and I can't even hold his hand!"

By the end Louis was proper yelling at the woman.

"Hey, honey, I know this is hard but I need you to quiet down."

Louis looked around quickly before lowering his head again. "Sorry."

The doctor stayed quiet and just rubbed Louis' knees. "His parents are at his room now?"

"Yeah. Right outside."

"Maybe I can help."

Louis looked up with the tiniest hope in his eyes. "What?"

"Just go with me, okay?"

***

"Mr. and Mrs. Twist?"

The two well-dressed parents looked to where a woman was coming down the hall towards them.

"Yes?" Robin said like he wasn't sure.

"Dr. Mars sent me. He wants a few more things settled before we go any further with Harry's recovery. Paperwork mostly, but if you could follow me."

"But Harry-"

"Is fine. I'll have a nurse stay right here," she pointed one out and waved him over, "Nurse Leo with stay right here and you'll be back in a few minutes."

Niall had long since rejoined the others outside and they were all glancing between each other confused.

"Um, okay," Anne nodded unsure.

The three walked down the hall toward the receptionist's desk. They turned the corner just as Louis walked up.

"Where have you been?" Liam pressed. "You just missed the weirdest thing."

"Keep an eye out for me. If they come back knock twice," Louis instructed and entered Harry's room leaving behind a confused group of friends.

It was silent in here compared to the buzz of the hospital. Harry's eyes were closed but he wasn't breathing even and he wasn't making little noises like he did when he was asleep.

"Harry," Louis whispered.

Harry's eyes shot open and he tried to sit up but pain shot through him and he laid back down. He reached out a hand though, and Louis rushed forward and took it.

"Oh, God, baby I was so scared," Lpuis kissed Harry's hand, "You scared the shit out of me," Louis rambled trying not to cry again.

"Parents?" Harry mouthed.

"Gone for now. Just the boys outside. I need to say some stuff."

Harry nodded. Louis prepared himself with a sigh.

"I need you to get better. To be all better so you can graduate from school and go on to do something great. Whatever that is," Louis added quickly. "You have a recovery ahead of you and you need your family with you. I bet they're already talking about moving in with you for the rest of the year."

Harry tried to hide his face and Louis knew he was right.

"And they'll stay with you everyday until you're good again. And then you'll graduate and go off to be the amazing man I know you are."

"Louis," Harry started but Louis cut him off.

"Lemme finish. I don't want you to lose your schooling so close to the end. Lose your apartment and car and everything. Which means I can't be with you as long as your parents are around." Louis was crying now, but only silently. A few tears trickling so slow he didn't even notice.

"I can't take away your life. So I'm promising right now to never bother you again. You're not attached in any way. You're not mine," he choked on that realization, "You're free and I need you to use that to do something good, okay."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Harry murmured.

"We weren't together, Harry." Louis said the line he's said so many times, to so many people, but this time it really felt like a lie.

"Maybe not yet, but I heard you a couple days ago. If I hadn't of come here we'd be boyfriends right now."

Louis closed his eyes in denial. "You heard me? That's not possible."

"And Louis?" Louis opened his eyes and saw Harry smiling up at him. "I love you, too."

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