Fate

Chapter Fifty-Three

Chapter Fifty-Three

"What do you want princess? Answer me that."

I didn't want to answer that when I didn't know myself. What my head was telling me I wanted wasn't something I could ever have. Therefore I wouldn't make myself look worse by even uttering it aloud.

"You don't want to screw me? Figuratively or literally?"

"Why would I want to screw you?" he asked.

"Yeah, your right why would you," I nodded.

"Thats not what I meant. I mean why would you think I'm trying to screw you? What would I gain by doing that?"

"I don't know. My virginity," I questioned then blushed.

Oh my gosh. I did not just confess to being a virgin to him! Melinda may call me a slut but that and admitting I hadn't had sex was even more embarrassing.

"Hey if I wanted that I'd take it without tricking you into anything. I think you're kind of into me right?"

We both chuckled then turned serious again.

"No I'm not trying to do that and I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that to my girlfriend or to you. I won't be my parents."

"Me either," I nodded.

"I don't know what I want. I just want to be in your life in some way. Thats it. Your turn."

"I don't know either really. I'm seventeen so why should I be trying to figure all this stuff out? It's so much."

"Do you want to be in my life?" he asked.

"It seems like I am whether I want to or not."

"Do you want to be?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"Then we need to make this work. Us being friends." He stated, coming to sit by me again.

"How are we going to do that when we clearly think of each other as more than friends?" I questioned, looking at him.

He let out a sigh and I watched as he ran his hand through his unruly hair. "I don't know. We just have to try. I've gone twelve years without you in my life and now that I have you back I don't want to lose you again. Selfish, I know but it's how it is."

I stared at him, wondering just what I was missing out on. These memories of us as kids, the ones I, not Liam could remember must have been some wonderful moments for him to say these things to me and to feel this way.

It made my heart flutter thinking he cared so much but also hurt that I couldn't remember what he did. Why couldn't I remember this part of my childhood at all? They had to be real and just locked away somewhere in the depths of my mind but why had I forgotten them to begin with?

Maybe it was too painful for me to lose Zayn after his parents died? He and mom told me after they passed away Eric took him and didn't think it was wise for him to keep seeing Liam and me. Maybe I was so upset by losing a friend that I made myself forget to lessen the pain?

"You're not being selfish, Zayn. I want this to work just as much as you do but I'm scared it'll only backfire again." I frowned.

"Don't be. If we want this as bad as we say then we'll make it work. I know I meant every word, Ariel but did you?" He wondered, meeting my eyes.

"Every word," I promised, meeting his gaze.

"Okay I believe you," he smiled finally.

Jane Doe was wrong. He had to be.  Zayn would never do that to me or Melinda. He had confirmed as much himself.