We Are Titanium

Where They Put Her Six Feet Under

****Where They Put Her Six Feet Under****

A/N I'm skipping the showing because we all know what happens there. Also, there will probably be a lot of song in here because singing and music is something that helps Beca.

*Beca's P.O.V.*

Darkness. Silence. Heartache.

Those three words describe my life and my dreams. Its too dark to see, the silence is deafening, and the heartache feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Yesterday was the worst day of it all.

The showing.

I saw my mom's lifeless body lying in that casket and I almost broke down. I was able to get through the showing with a minimal amount of sobs. But, that night, I went to Jesse's hotel room and cried myself to sleep as I laid there wrapped in his arms. Halfway through the night, I was relieved as awoke only to fall back into the awful nightmare that has been suffocating me for days.

(Nightmare in italics)

I'm laying there in the darkness, staring up at the black hole of a ceiling. My thoughts are scattered like stars I can't fathom into a constellation, each about my mother. Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry.

"Beca." I hear a slight moan and my head immediately jerks to where the noise came from. Nothing is there. Must've just been the whistling of the wind and my imagination. I turn my attention back to the black hole above me and immediately slip back into my jumbled mind.

"Beca." I hear it again, closer this time. I keep telling myself it's my imagination, nothing is there. "Beca." It's at my bedside now and I begin to think maybe it's not my imagination.

My bed leans a little, as if someone were sitting on the edge of it. So scared that I'm sweating, I slowly turn my head. "Ahhh!!" I screamed at the spontaneous sight of a ghastly face just inches from mine. I jumped back, miscalculating how much bed space I had, and hit the floor.

Catching myself before my face made contact with the hard wood, I looked up just in time to see the ghastly figure heading for me. With no time to spare, I scooted across the floor in hopes of escaping it. I kept scooting until my back pressed flat against the wall.

With the eerie figure slowly flying toward me, I looked every which way in hopes of finding an escape route. Having no luck, the fear swallowed me and began to freak out. Instinctively, I clenched my eyes shut and threw my arms in front of my face and waited.

I waited for something to happen but there was nothing. I slowly removed my makeshift shield and my heart dropped to my stomach. Right there, floating just inches from me, was the almost invisible silhouette of my dead mother.

"M-mom?" I stuttered. A small, lopsided smile formed on her face. "Hi sweetheart." Her voice sounded unusual, almost distant. "What the h*ll?" The words just fell out and my mom snapped at me. "You watch your mouth!"

"Y-you're not really here. Y-you're dead."

"I really wish you wouldn't have said that." Without warning, she dove at me. Dodging the sudden attack, I rolled under her and speedily crawled to my bed. "What the f*ck?!" I questioned the outrage in my mother's ghost. She narrowed her eyebrows at me and said the one thing I was dreading, "You let me die!"

She then forcefully flew at me, causing me to hit the floor again. I frantically looked around before crawling under my bed. "Mom, there was nothing I could do! You had cancer, you were sick! There was no cure!" I tried explaining but she wouldn't listen. She just kept repeating 'you let me die, you let me die' as I cowardly hid under my bed.